If the guy cheated at the beginning of the relationship. Treason

I don't know what to do, tell me how to do it right..
The former was her first love. He left her because he left for another city and she suffered a lot. Six months later, I showed up. We knew each other for a couple of years, she used to like me, invited me on a date, and began to build relationships.
I'm 22, she's 21. We've been together for 7 months and love each other a lot. I emphasize in the preface, the first 2-3 months of the relationship were not entirely serious, rather sympathy, and she said that it was hard for her to fall in love after a breakup, to start trusting ..
A couple of days ago, under pressure, she admitted that she cheated on me with her ex when we had been dating for 2 months (it was in another city where she worked. I went to see my colleagues, the only friends she had at that time were, a revelry began, alcohol, soon her ex appeared at the apartment, they went into the room to talk about this and that, and ... slept in. She says that she was very drunk at that time and how her head turned off. and the old feelings played out drunk (the person meant something in her life, even once) or she wanted to, I'm trying to somehow understand this in order to try to forgive. forgive at least for myself, inside .. Of course, nothing did not give her the slightest right to do so.In the morning she realized what she had done and immediately left there in tears.
And so everything was found out: All in tears, she is shaking, cannot calm down, asks for forgiveness, repents, begs for forgiveness, calls herself names in every possible way, says I don’t know how she allowed this, understands what pain she caused me, tells me all this, which is very difficult she had to keep it all inside, torn to pieces, but she knew that betrayal is the end of everything, I often told her that the main thing in a relationship is loyalty and devotion, and that I could never forgive betrayal, never !! she knew this and was afraid to lose me because of her great stupidity ... I stood with such pain inside that I had never experienced in my life. I love her and she has me everything is wonderful in our relationship! And such a blow .. She drank pills all evening and all night, her shaking tears did not stop .. I saw everything on her face ... sincere regrets .. guilt .. fell to her knees .. she only asked for forgiveness me if you can, this is my biggest mistake in life .. I understand that I’m not worthy of forgiveness, but you try to find strength, I didn’t know you and didn’t love you then, only sympathy was, if I loved like now I would never allow this! I don’t see life without you, my bunny, my bunny, I beg you, forgive me, if you could turn back time ..... and a lot of things like that .. a stream of tears .. I was hurt by all this, it hurts to realize! I couldn't believe it knowing her! that she is not that kind of person. But anger and emotions began to take over, and I abruptly began to chop everything. How could you, it's over, we won't be together anymore, you betrayed me, I'm not your bunny and a lot of things .. my every word was like a knife stab .. she asked no no don't say that please .. and refused to believe in what was happening , .. no no such love cannot end like this .. and further prayers and repentance .. I painted at least the picture that was happening that evening .. how she sincerely regretted what she had done and prayed that I would give at least one small chance. . that she does not see life without me, that she loved me very much over time, because she never loved .. and I saw all this !! she has changed a lot since the beginning of our relationship .. I leafed through the correspondence, remembered what kind of relationship we had then, and what we were. now it's completely different! everything is serious and strong! not like in the beginning when there was no seriousness. I love her very much, she is even more, and that's the only reason I'm scratching my head about what to do .. am I wrong to finish everything that we have now, all the love that has been built in such a short period. We are human and we make mistakes! After re-reading the Internet, everyone writes that treason cannot be forgiven, changing once will change again, etc. .. many cases .. shaved all this on emotions and decided that there could be no thought of any forgiveness. But my heart won't deceive me and rarely has, and I feel like I should give her a chance, no matter how hard this decision is for me!! Decided to spend the whole night with her, afraid that he would do something stupid. You should have seen her .. Even through all the pain that was in me, I saw that there was much more pain in her .. In the morning I began to collect things and say that that's it, we won't see each other again, this is the end, I'm sorry too .. do not call me, otherwise I will change the number and do not dare to come. I will try to forget you .. don't hurt me even more ... she refused to listen to me and did not believe in it and only asked me to find the strength to forgive her, that such love could not end like this. tears welled up in me, she sobbed, I hugged her very tightly and kissed her like the last time .. she repeated no no please we'll see you again, I don't believe in it, I can't live without you and I will never forgive myself for losing you! you are my life! I don’t need anyone but you! my bunny! my dear dear ..! And I left.
That day I was very angry with her, it hurt me .. I deleted all the photos, threw all the gifts and things into a bag so that nothing would remind me of her. She called me, I picked up the phone, said not to call, hung up, she wrote, begged, repented and asked for a chance .. the biggest mistake in her life and she will never forgive herself for what she did, etc. .. I threatened her not to write, she answered well, but let me call you at least once a day to hear your voice ..
I don’t know why I’m describing it all to you in detail, maybe you will be imbued with the situation and feelings .. I can’t compare it with simple cases where a person is cheated on and he is obliged to end the relationship !! everything is much more complicated and I understand that the choice is mine. But I need your advice. Will it be a mistake to forgive this betrayal. Or it will be a mistake not to give a chance to a person and end it all like that .. she cries there, I suffer here ... and how long this torment will continue.
I don't want to destroy our love and relationship. I'm trying to forgive her, I'm looking for ways to write it all off for stupidity - alcohol, that old atmosphere of her life and feelings that may have remained at that moment for the former, or what it was (although she always denied that they remained), why did she go to bed and slept there until the morning and only the next morning I realized what I had done and left as soon as possible. really was not conscious at night?? But here the choice is already much harder .. We are as one.. I can't live without her .. she without me!!
At the beginning of the relationship, she was a different person, you can say a child. Yes, and there were no such strong feelings as we have now! With me, she noticeably changed, became much smarter and more mature.
I’m sure for sure, it was an isolated case, that she would never make such a mistake, that she sincerely regrets it and that she couldn’t tell me because she didn’t want to lose ... But can I accept it all, forgive and live on ?? I'm afraid to destroy everything .. irrevocably .. without forgiving, without giving a chance, without trying ... each person is not sinless! I myself, knowing myself, would never cheat on the person I love, but I know how alcohol can cloud the brain .. and then she didn’t love me yet .. and cheated not with just anyone, but with the person to whom they once were feelings. Yes, she was stupid, but can this be equated with spiritual betrayal? Although when she did not love me, then there can be no spiritual betrayal as such.! Do you need to pay attention to these little things if you are trying to forgive?? Or is the fact of treason harsh? ..
PS I met similar situations on the forums, the authors of the girl deeply regret and torment themselves for what happened ..

I used to talk a lot about these controversial and complex topics, mainly justifying adultery by the inability to be faithful to a partner, while remaining true to yourself and your desires. For some time now I have seen it differently. Now for me this topic concerns an even more complex issue of values ​​​​and priorities. I'll tell you more.

At the beginning of a good love relationship, the question of fidelity and betrayal is not at all - from the moment both trusted each other, it seems that there are no more people in the world, and - what kind of betrayal is there? Just not with anyone. He is the best. She is the best.

Over time, when the pink veil leaves, and the real person turns out to be not very similar to his ideal image, it begins to seem to us that “he has changed” or “cheated”. In short, "he is not what he was."

This process is natural and happens to everyone. If what is left after the loss of illusions is insignificant, and a replacement can be easily found, people usually scatter. It is more difficult to leave when both the value of the old partner is present, and something is missing (plus it’s a shame that there was “it” before, because there was enough of everything!). There is tension and distance between the couple.

1. Some try to talk, swear, sort things out - they somehow contact each other, although these quarrels are rarely productive.

Conversations basically come down to “return what was, otherwise I’ll give you ... (as they say - insert your own)” or “just tell me what I should become, and I will correct (meaning: and then you will also correct, and everything will be fine again).

Nothing can be returned because there is nothing to return. But this is a topic for a separate discussion.

If a lover (tsa) suddenly appears in this pair, then only as another “pressure tool” to correct the neighbor: “See what you have brought me (a) to!”

2. The second - from those who are used to "taking care" of another in such a nice way as "do not burden your neighbor with your problems."

Such a person decides everything with himself, sometimes not even realizing that the second one also has tension. It is in this pair that there is a risk of the appearance of a well-hidden lover (for one or both partners), who will have a very important mission: to reduce this very tension.

It is about these couples that they say: “a good leftist strengthens a marriage.” Of course, it strengthens: this is their only way to discharge and get the satisfaction of significant needs, otherwise the “hamster will break” (c) anecdote. And this option perfectly supports the separation of spouses.

In this case, the lover (tsa) will carefully hide, they will diligently protect each other from him: after all, what the partner can find out about the lover (tse) will offend, upset, upset him. And do we need it? No. Therefore, no-no. The one you love needs to be protected. From everything. Yes, that kind of concern.

It may happen that one of the couple leaves, but only in order to create the same couple in another place with another person. Or they will part with each other, converge all their lives.

There's no development, no change, and we're basically just playing around with a broken record, hoping that by doing the same thing for the hundredth time, we'll get something completely new this time.

I look forward to the natural question “and where is the way out of this outcome?”

In order to sketch out the "route", I will have to rewind the whole story back to the beginning.

Where did your partner come from? Where do partners come from for a good, romantic relationship? There are many cute people, but where does this one come from? The only one? "Half"? The last word has a clue.

We find a person in whom we see something that we ourselves lack for ourselves. “You won’t get bored with her”, “he is so caring”, “she cooks so well”, “he knows how to make a living”, etc.

That is, if I’m bored with myself, if I don’t know how to take care of myself (only about others), if my mother has been cooking for me all my life, and I love to eat, if earning a living is a problem, then I desperately need someone who will do it FOR me FOR me.

You want to find this "half" so much that a person is ready to attribute the missing skill to each more or less suitable candidate. However, not everyone is able to meet this expectation.

For the role of the "only" one is suitable who can, at least for some time (usually it works very well during the candy-bouquet period, and then for more or less a year or two), play the declared role. And if you also fit his needs - cheers, they came: “We love each other”, “You are my (my) savior (nice)!”

When the right person is found, a lot of pleasant illusions appear: a sense of integrity, security, ecstasy "only with you can I be myself." Plus, complete clarity on how to live (and, most importantly, with whom!) Next.

All this is perfectly reflected in pop music: we listen to any song about love - from the touching “If it were not for you, I would walk the world like a blind man ...” to any less poetic suffering - it's all there.

And the roots of dependent relationships, and the causes of mutual insults and claims that will arise when the partner ceases to correspond to the desired image. Everything that will soon lead to the very tension that is not seriously resolved by any of the usual methods.

In other words, initially, the partner is designed to "complete" me-without-some-important-part to the whole. Without it - Half. With him is the whole. This is impossible. No one can do this for me or for you.

Take a breath. Pause. Consider it.

This is impossible. Never. With no one. It wasn't possible. And it won't be possible.

• You do not know how to take care of yourself, do not know what you want from life? No one came to this world just to take care of you and guess your desires.

• You do not know how to protect yourself and earn money? No one was born to be your protector or your wallet.

• Are you bored with yourself? Others will also be bored with you.

You might say: how is it? Happens! Yes, sometimes. In early infancy. Well, a little - in the candy-bouquet (that is, in the infancy of your relationship).

Why am I talking about this? I'm hinting at an exit. No "half" can save you. And you can't save anyone.

You can create fundamentally new relationships (whether with a new or with an old partner), only if you take responsibility for your life, for your development, for the meaning of your life, for satisfaction with it completely on yourself, and give your partner the same opportunity.

“No one can give me what I most want. Only myself."

It is one's own integrity that makes it possible to see that the Other is nearby. Completely different person. No half of me. Unknown other. And start learning to recognize, love, respect, support the Other - unfamiliar to me, unlike me. And in this dissimilarity to see a chance and a reason for their own development.

I understand that it sounds trite, and that “everyone has already heard this somewhere.” But I didn't know how to write otherwise.
I return to the topic of change.

Now I think that for an adult, having a lover (tsy) is bad. Not from a moral and ethical position, it's just marking time.

A way to change nothing, not to grow, not to develop. After all, if the relationship in the main couple is over, then there is no point in dragging it out, and if it hasn’t ended, then something needs to be done. But the endless showdowns, and the silent distance without betrayal, in fact, the same marking time, and not the best way to be together.

I would say that all of the above is the "adolescence" of relationships, with which everyone manages - as best he can. It cannot be avoided. Not everyone can grow up.

Total.

"Candy-bouquet period" - the infancy of relationships. Mutual breastfeeding.

“Everything is more or less good” - the childhood of relationships is more or less prosperous.

"Rising tension and finding ways to defuse it" - adolescence relationships.

“Exploring oneself in and out of relationships” – the youth of relationships.

“Combining the loneliness of one with the loneliness of the other” is the maturity of the relationship.

Well, and then, probably, the decline of relations? I do not know yet…

Actually: what to do. "Discover" the step you are on, be prepared to overcome all the difficulties of this step. Live it, don't get stuck, move on. And whatever you decide to do, always start with yourself (not your partner).

Thank you for your attention.

There is a persistent stereotype in society that all men are womanizers. There are legends about male infidelity. Why don't girls ever cheat? Alas, but representatives of the beautiful half of humanity are also seen in adultery. Experts are sure that women's infidelity is much more dangerous for relationships than men's. What is the reason and why do girls cheat?

And then one fine - although it can hardly be called wonderful - the moment one of the partners has the idea that there are other men in the world. Or other women. That they are very attractive (before that, almost all thoughts were focused on a partner). And what if ..., then, in fact, you can’t call it betrayal, because ... After all, this person (about a husband or wife) does not respect me at all, does not appreciate, does not want to understand, and does not love, most likely ...

Cheating is an attempt to solve problems that have been painful in a couple in an external way. Yes, it is painful, very similar to betrayal and brings a lot of suffering, as a rule, to both parties. The way it is. At the same time, betrayal continues to be one of the ways to reach out to a partner - in a somewhat intricate way - to show him your importance, irreplaceability, and need.

You can forgive betrayal. But it's not just about forgiveness. It is important to draw conclusions about what actually led to the fact that the partner began to look for an outlet (another soul, right?) on the side. What led to the change? Do two people want to live together? If so, what is important to learn, what to learn about each other's character? How can we learn to hear and understand each other better? Talk about the most intimate topics so as not to offend or be offended?

Cheating is a kind of crisis in a relationship. It can destroy a family, or it can make it strong and reliable.

If betrayal occurs at the very beginning of a relationship, then most likely this is due to the fear of possible long-term relationships, the fear of responsibility, certain obligations that a person represents to himself and is afraid of. That is, it is a way to escape, to hide.

What to do to prevent cheating? Learn to hear each other, respect, understand the reasons for actions. In general, take it as a truth that without a reason there is no action. Listen to your partner, try to understand him. It is imperative - very important - to try to understand yourself and the reasons for your own actions. Talk openly about your desires. This is especially true for women who prefer to wait until a man shows his telepathic abilities.

And of course, answer the question more often: why is it so important for you to be together? Why is this person important to me? What qualities of his and my own character did I want (would like) to develop, support, praise?

Good luck sailing on the ship of happy relationships!

PS. And remember: treason is not the collapse of the ship. This is your chance to make it stronger!

It was an alarming bell, but at that time I was extremely adequate, so I didn’t ask anything, but I put the information aside for myself. Looked at her Vkontakte, of course. The girl was very fit, with a well-pumped booty (which was a rarity in those days, fitness bloggers did not yet exist in nature), and at that time I myself was fed up on family grubs and was not at all camille.

In general, I felt something was wrong ... When your man gets close to another woman, if you are not a fool, you will guess. Here, too, a password suddenly appeared on ICQ, although from the very beginning we were frank and open to each other.

I don't know of such situations. It may not be possible to indulge the weaknesses of another person, but this is different. For example, if my door does not close well, and a person breaks it open and takes away money, then there are two completely different aspects. First, how do I feel about this person, am I ready to forgive him, will I prosecute him. Secondly, I need to replace the door so that next time it won't be broken into. It is necessary not only to work on the attitude towards the person who committed a certain act, but also to take care of their own protection.

Let me give you an example: during a solemn ceremony, a woman broke through the guards of the current Pope and knocked him down. Dad can forgive her, but he won't disband the guards. Protecting yourself, your interests, your boundaries is the norm. I do not understand the situation when, after infidelity without forgiveness, the spouses continue intimate relationships. Any betrayal makes the relationship much more formal. This is a natural defense when the person who has been cheated moves away. For example, relationships have reached an impasse, people do not see how to develop them further, but for “technical reasons” they do not get divorced (for example, property is difficult to divide). Marriage turns into a marriage of convenience, and for some time this construction exists.

- They often save a marriage for the sake of a child ...

It's a difficult question. When two people who do not love each other live for the sake of a child, this does not affect him very well. Here it is difficult to talk about acceptance and forgiveness, there is simply a fact of common domestic coexistence.

- In a situation of betrayal, there is often a desire for revenge. What to do with it?

- The human psyche is designed in such a way that if he does not find the strength to forgive, he will somehow show aggression: either ignore the partner or take revenge on him. The main question is what is your goal. If after parting you are building a new happy life, think about how this evil and this revenge will fit into it? Any revenge is more expensive. The best revenge that does not harm us is a happy life without him or without her.

- Often friends, and sometimes unfortunate psychologists, are advised to avenge treason for treason. As they say, "an eye for an eye" ...

I smashed his phone against the wall. He said he loves me and doesn't understand how it happened (classic).

Then she got dressed, came to the office, went to her desk, hit her in the face with a fist and asked: “Did you feel good, bitch?” I thought they would fire me, but she did not complain anywhere.

1. Cheating as a signal of extinct love. Of course, in this case, you need to clarify your relationship with your partner and muster up the courage to calmly leave this relationship. In the end, your partner probably just didn't have the guts to tell you the truth, but you can only blame him for that, and not for the lack of love.

2. Cheating as a signal of a relationship problem. A relationship problem is not synonymous with the fact that love is gone. Rather, on the contrary, such a betrayal suggests that the partner wants to solve the problem in such an unpretentious way and return love. For example, if a husband feels that his wife has distanced himself from him, he may become suddenly attracted to his secretary. But the basis of this attraction is not love for the secretary, but a compensatory attempt to cope with his feelings of frustration. That is, instead of making claims to his wife, a person unconsciously corrects the situation by cheating. Therefore, psychologists very often say that betrayal can sometimes be a relationship stabilizer. Often people who have gone through adultery later remember this as a good lesson that taught them to treat their partner more attentively, with greater understanding, sympathy, taught them to be more tolerant, generous, and helpful.

If you are ready to be not the only one for him all your life, then it’s worth it.

If you have been changed

Refuse to change "in return"

Firstly, such decisions are impulsive, and the “accomplice” is chosen not from the head, but according to the principle “who turns up” or worse - “to hurt more”, like a brother or sister of a traitor, friend / girlfriend, etc. In the best case you will be able to forget about the problems. For a minute. At worst (if a connection with someone close to you is revealed when you and your partner have reconciled, for example), a huge scandal will happen.

Many are ready to forgive an accidental betrayal, but not with "this" person.

Prioritize

I don't know what to do, tell me how to do it right..
The former was her first love. He left her because he left for another city and she suffered a lot. Six months later, I showed up. We knew each other for a couple of years, she used to like me, invited me on a date, and began to build relationships.
I'm 22, she's 21. We've been together for 7 months and love each other a lot. I emphasize in the preface, the first 2-3 months of the relationship were not entirely serious, rather sympathy, and she said that it was hard for her to fall in love after a breakup, to start trusting ..
A couple of days ago, under pressure, she admitted that she cheated on me with her ex when we had been dating for 2 months (it was in another city where she worked. I went to see my colleagues, the only friends she had at that time were, a revelry began, alcohol, soon her ex appeared at the apartment, they went into the room to talk about this and that, and ... slept in. She says that she was very drunk at that time and how her head turned off. and the old feelings played out drunk (the person meant something in her life, even once) or she wanted to, I'm trying to somehow understand this in order to try to forgive. forgive at least for myself, inside .. Of course, nothing did not give her the slightest right to do so.In the morning she realized what she had done and immediately left there in tears.
And so everything was found out: All in tears, she is shaking, cannot calm down, asks for forgiveness, repents, begs for forgiveness, calls herself names in every possible way, says I don’t know how she allowed this, understands what pain she caused me, tells me all this, which is very difficult she had to keep it all inside, torn to pieces, but she knew that betrayal is the end of everything, I often told her that the main thing in a relationship is loyalty and devotion, and that I could never forgive betrayal, never !! she knew this and was afraid to lose me because of her great stupidity ... I stood with such pain inside that I had never experienced in my life. I love her and she has me everything is wonderful in our relationship! And such a blow .. She drank pills all evening and all night, her shaking tears did not stop .. I saw everything on her face ... sincere regrets .. guilt .. fell to her knees .. she only asked for forgiveness me if you can, this is my biggest mistake in life .. I understand that I’m not worthy of forgiveness, but you try to find strength, I didn’t know you and didn’t love you then, only sympathy was, if I loved like now I would never allow this! I don’t see life without you, my bunny, my bunny, I beg you, forgive me, if you could turn back time ..... and a lot of things like that .. a stream of tears .. I was hurt by all this, it hurts to realize! I couldn't believe it knowing her! that she is not that kind of person. But anger and emotions began to take over, and I abruptly began to chop everything. How could you, it's over, we won't be together anymore, you betrayed me, I'm not your bunny and a lot of things .. my every word was like a knife stab .. she asked no no don't say that please .. and refused to believe in what was happening , .. no no such love cannot end like this .. and further prayers and repentance .. I painted at least the picture that was happening that evening .. how she sincerely regretted what she had done and prayed that I would give at least one small chance. . that she does not see life without me, that she loved me very much over time, because she never loved .. and I saw all this !! she has changed a lot since the beginning of our relationship .. I leafed through the correspondence, remembered what kind of relationship we had then, and what we were. now it's completely different! everything is serious and strong! not like in the beginning when there was no seriousness. I love her very much, she is even more, and that's the only reason I'm scratching my head about what to do .. am I wrong to finish everything that we have now, all the love that has been built in such a short period. We are human and we make mistakes! After re-reading the Internet, everyone writes that treason cannot be forgiven, changing once will change again, etc. .. many cases .. shaved all this on emotions and decided that there could be no thought of any forgiveness. But my heart won't deceive me and rarely has, and I feel like I should give her a chance, no matter how hard this decision is for me!! Decided to spend the whole night with her, afraid that he would do something stupid. You should have seen her .. Even through all the pain that was in me, I saw that there was much more pain in her .. In the morning I began to collect things and say that that's it, we won't see each other again, this is the end, I'm sorry too .. do not call me, otherwise I will change the number and do not dare to come. I will try to forget you .. don't hurt me even more ... she refused to listen to me and did not believe in it and only asked me to find the strength to forgive her, that such love could not end like this. tears welled up in me, she sobbed, I hugged her very tightly and kissed her like the last time .. she repeated no no please we'll see you again, I don't believe in it, I can't live without you and I will never forgive myself for losing you! you are my life! I don’t need anyone but you! my bunny! my dear dear ..! And I left.
That day I was very angry with her, it hurt me .. I deleted all the photos, threw all the gifts and things into a bag so that nothing would remind me of her. She called me, I picked up the phone, said not to call, hung up, she wrote, begged, repented and asked for a chance .. the biggest mistake in her life and she will never forgive herself for what she did, etc. .. I threatened her not to write, she answered well, but let me call you at least once a day to hear your voice ..
I don’t know why I’m describing it all to you in detail, maybe you will be imbued with the situation and feelings .. I can’t compare it with simple cases where a person is cheated on and he is obliged to end the relationship !! everything is much more complicated and I understand that the choice is mine. But I need your advice. Will it be a mistake to forgive this betrayal. Or it will be a mistake not to give a chance to a person and end it all like that .. she cries there, I suffer here ... and how long this torment will continue.
I don't want to destroy our love and relationship. I'm trying to forgive her, I'm looking for ways to write it all off for stupidity - alcohol, that old atmosphere of her life and feelings that may have remained at that moment for the former, or what it was (although she always denied that they remained), why did she go to bed and slept there until the morning and only the next morning I realized what I had done and left as soon as possible. really was not conscious at night?? But here the choice is already much harder .. We are as one.. I can't live without her .. she without me!!
At the beginning of the relationship, she was a different person, you can say a child. Yes, and there were no such strong feelings as we have now! With me, she noticeably changed, became much smarter and more mature.
I’m sure for sure, it was an isolated case, that she would never make such a mistake, that she sincerely regrets it and that she couldn’t tell me because she didn’t want to lose ... But can I accept it all, forgive and live on ?? I'm afraid to destroy everything .. irrevocably .. without forgiving, without giving a chance, without trying ... each person is not sinless! I myself, knowing myself, would never cheat on the person I love, but I know how alcohol can cloud the brain .. and then she didn’t love me yet .. and cheated not with just anyone, but with the person to whom they once were feelings. Yes, she was stupid, but can this be equated with spiritual betrayal? Although when she did not love me, then there can be no spiritual betrayal as such.! Do you need to pay attention to these little things if you are trying to forgive?? Or is the fact of treason harsh? ..
PS I met similar situations on the forums, the authors of the girl deeply regret and torment themselves for what happened ..