Typology of the modern family and possible psychological problems. Family typologies

2.2 Typology of families

Typology of families - the distribution of families depending on the existence of features of their socio-demographic composition and functions.

Historical types depending on the nature of the distribution of family responsibilities and leadership:

1) a traditional family (its signs are: living together for at least three generations (grandparents, their adult children with spouses, grandchildren); economic dependence of a woman on a man (a man is the owner of property); a clear division of family responsibilities (husband works, wife gives birth and raises children, older children take care of the younger ones, etc.), the head of the family is a man);

2) non-traditional (exploitative) family (its differences from the traditional family: women work on an equal footing with men (women were involved in social work during the transition from an agrarian society to an industrial one); a woman combines work in production with domestic duties (hence the exploitative nature) ;

3) an egalitarian family (family of equals) (distinguished by a fair division of household duties, a democratic nature of relations (all important decisions for the family are made by all its members), emotional richness of relations (a sense of love, mutual responsibility for each other, etc.).

Historical types based on the allocation of a function that prevails in family activities:

1) patriarchal family (the main function is economic and economic: joint management of the economy, mainly of an agrarian type, achievement of economic well-being);

2) child-centric family (the most important function is the upbringing of children, preparing them for independent life in modern society);

3) the married family (its main function is the emotional satisfaction of marriage partners). According to researchers, the latter type, which is not yet widespread in society, characterizes the family of the future.

Typologies for various reasons:

1) depending on the composition of the family: nuclear - parents and children; extended - parents, children and other relatives; incomplete - one of the parents is missing;

2) by stage of the life cycle: young family; family with firstborn; family with teenager family "abandoned nest" (when children grow up and create their own families);

3) by social composition: a family of workers; family of new Russians; student family and others.

The modern family typology is based on the presence and number of married couples in it. The simplest classification is:

Nuclear families, including one married couple with minor children or without children;

Extended families that include more than one married couple, or a married couple and other adult relatives;

Incomplete families that do not have a single married couple.

Thus, the presence of a married couple is not an obligatory feature of a family, since a significant part of families does not include married couples. In the modern world, the absolute majority of families - (about 3/4) - are nuclear; however, the share of incomplete families is constantly growing.

It should be noted that although stable marriage couples as the main form of cohabitation apparently developed a very long time ago, nevertheless, in most societies during many millennia of the late appropriating and early producing economy, the basis of the family structure was not the marriage couple, but the clan. Marriages were also part of the family, but were, as it were, its periphery.

A clan is a social group that has existed for at least several generations, consisting of the direct descendants of a person on the paternal and / or maternal lines, within which marriages are prohibited. The genus has a name, a legendary or real ancestor (“totem”) and symbols of belonging to the genus.

Inheritance of belonging to the genus can occur on the maternal line (matrilineal genus), on the paternal side (patrilineal genus). In patrilineal clans, marriages with relatives on the paternal side are prohibited, in matrilineal families - on the maternal side. Initially, territorial communities were formed on the basis of some sort. The spouses of members of a given genus must necessarily be from another genus. With a matrilineal system of kinship, men left for another community, with a patrilineal system, women.

Many peoples (for example, the Indians of North America in the 19th century, the Slavs in the 5th-6th centuries) used to have large houses, the basis of the population of which were members of the same clan with their spouses. Spouses were not considered full members of the clan, since they belonged to another clan. The population of such houses was a single extended family, including many married couples. However, the main thing in such a family is not the relation of property, as in the modern married family, but the relation of kinship.

It should be noted that the clan is not a biological formation, but a social one, since the prohibition of marriage with relatives on the paternal side did not exclude the combination, for example, with a cousin on the maternal side. The emergence of a clan organization is most likely due to the need to secure property (lands) for a clan group and organize activities for cultivating the land and grazing herds. Genus exogamene - a rule according to which it is forbidden to marry men and women belonging to a given social group.

Endogamy is the rule that all marriages are assumed to occur only within a given social group. Strictly endogamous groups are almost unknown in history. Therefore, endogamy is more of a theoretical abstraction. A more general case is homogamy - preferential marriage within the same social group or category. Endogamy is the extreme case of homogamy. However, the term “endogamy” has been fixed in the literature.

The mentality of the Russian diaspora in the Baltic countries

Since the specific forms of existence of diasporas are very diverse, it is at first glance difficult to determine their typological features. It's actually like this...

Large families (on the example of the Yaroslavl region)

All large families can be divided into three categories: 1) families in which large families are planned (for example, in connection with national traditions, religious prescriptions, cultural and ideological positions, family traditions) ...

Nation and ethnicity

Depending on the nature of the tasks set and being solved, several types of national movements are being formed in the modern world. The most widely used classification is made by H. Cohn...

The relation of Christian dogmas to the family, marriage, divorce and birth control

The selection of types of families and their classification can be carried out on various grounds: 1) according to the form of marriage: a) monogamous (marriage of one man with one woman); b) polyandry (a woman has several spouses); c) polygyny (marriage of one man with ...

The family as an object of social work. Social protection of childhood and women's interests

In modern psychological and pedagogical literature, there are various typologies of families, but all of them are characterized by the following features: by the number of children: a childless or infertile family, a small family, a large family; Ingredients: Incomplete...

Personality socialization

There are two ways to approach the task of personality characteristics: from the point of view of its structure; in terms of her interaction with others, communication with other people. B table. 3...

social communication

Social communication in the process of its implementation solves three main interrelated tasks: 1) the integration of individuals into social groups and communities ...

All large families can be divided into three categories: - families in which large families are planned (for example, in connection with national traditions, religious prescriptions, cultural and ideological positions, family traditions) ...

Social work with large families

What is meant by the term "large family"? Family law specifically in Russia does not establish which family is large. The main document of the federal level, which determines the social status of a large family ...

The family is one of the main objects of social work. The modern family is going through a difficult stage in evolution - the transition from the traditional model to the new one, and many scientists characterize the current family conditions as a crisis ...

Social work with disadvantaged families

The concept of "dysfunctional family" does not have a clear definition in the scientific literature. Synonyms of this concept are used: - destructive family; - dysfunctional family; - families at risk; - disorganized family. Problems...

Socio-psychological features of a large family

In the literature on psychology, pedagogy, sociology, there are quite a few different classifications of families on various grounds: complete, incomplete, prosperous, problematic, etc. Of the many typologies of the family (psychological ...

Socio-economic problems of the modern family

The structure of the family as an integral system largely depends on the type of family group. Although the family is the oldest and most widespread social group...

Theoretical foundations of social work for the protection of the family

The most common type is the nuclear family (from Latin nucleus - core), consisting of one pair of spouses with or without children. It can be complete and incomplete - with one parent with children. There are about 13% of such families ...

Traditional society and modern society

All the mental and real diversity of societies that existed before and that exist now, sociologists divide into certain types. Several societies, united by similar features, criteria, make up a typology ...

By the number of marriage partners:
1) monogamous family - one husband and one wife;
2) polygamous family:

polyandry - polyandry;
polygyny - polygamy.

By number of generations:

simple (nuclear) family - consists of representatives of only two generations (parents and children);
complex (extended) family - consists of representatives of at least three generations (grandparents, parents, children).

According to the goals and nature of partnerships:

traditional family - characterized by a lack of awareness of relationships, lack of development, creativity, freedom, attachment to everyday life, the presence of possessive instincts. The main goal of such a family is the continuation of the family, the preservation of stability, the desire not to stand out;
dependent family - also characterized by a lack of awareness of relationships, a lack of development, attachment to everyday life, a love illusion, the presence of all kinds of complexes, addictions, pathological attachments, etc. The main goal of such a family is to satisfy psychological needs, avoid fear of loneliness, responsibility;
partner family - characterized by awareness, development, responsibility, participation in family affairs of both all members, the desire for openness, for an agreement on controversial issues, flexibility of relations, mutual assistance, etc. The main goal of such a family is self-development, self-realization through the family, assistance in partner development.

According to the criterion of harmony:
1) a harmonious family - characterized by openness, creative growth and personal development of all its members, warm emotional relationships between parents and children;
2) disharmonic psychological types of families:

a "outwardly calm family" - is characterized by external balance, behind which lies the dissatisfaction accumulated over the years, the predominance of a sense of responsibility over the sincerity of feelings;
"volcanic family" - characterized by an imbalance in relations: scandals and divorces alternate with declarations of eternal love and unification. Relationships are open, spontaneity and emotional imbalance dominate the sense of responsibility. A child in such a family lives like on a powder keg, even when everything is fine, he feels the danger, which leads to neuroticism;
"family-sanatorium" - characterized by increased anxiety for the life or health of one of the family members, which manifests itself in limiting the duties of the "precious" family member and increasing the duties of the rest. Such care takes the form of a cult. Leads to physical and nervous overload, neuroses;
"family-fortress" - is characterized by external stability, cohesion, against some danger coming from outside. An illusion of complete mutual understanding is created, the expressed “we-feeling”, behind which spiritual emptiness or violation of sexual relations is hidden. Family life is strictly regulated and subject to certain goals;
“demonstrative family, theater family” - is characterized by playing a performance in front of each other, which is designed to maintain the appearance of well-being and maintain the necessary close distance;
"family - the third superfluous" - is characterized by a concentration of attention on each other, while ignoring or hidden rejection of the child;
"family with an idol" - is characterized by the overprotection of the child, which strengthens the marital relationship. Caring for a child becomes the only force that can keep parents together;
"family-masquerade" - characterized by inconsistency in life goals and plans of the spouses, inconsistent upbringing, unhealthy competition.

The structure of the family as an integral system largely depends on the type of family group. Despite the fact that the family is the oldest and most widespread social group, most people's knowledge about it is limited only to the division of families into good (prosperous) and bad (unfavorable). However, in order to better navigate the solution of many family problems, such an obviously superficial idea of the varieties (types) of the family, of course, is not enough. The presence of a system of knowledge about the types, forms, types of families and the characteristics of relationships within each model of a marriage union allows you to take a more “professional” look at your own family, and be more attentive to the problems that arise in it. In addition, different types of families function differently in various areas of family relations. The use of diverse typologies helps to get a more complete, multi-colored picture of the most important characteristics of the family in social and scientific terms: marriage, divorce, fertility, the influence of the family on the upbringing of children, etc.

In addition, in a certain form of a family-marriage union, similar (typical) problems may appear, the presumptive knowledge of which can be a significant help in organizing the necessary social or psychological assistance to such a family.

To date, scientists have not yet been able to compile a complete classification of families due to their diversity among representatives of different cultures. In the list of various forms of modern families, there are more than forty varieties of them. The paper gives a family classification, taking into account those models that are common to most cultures. As a basis for the proposed typology, essential criteria are taken that allow one or another form of a family organization to be distinguished, taking into account its structure, dynamics and functions.

A modern monogamous family can have several types that differ from each other in certain ways.

1. By related structure family can be nuclear(married couple with children) and extended(a married couple with children and any of the relatives of the husband or wife living with them in the same household).

2. By number of children: childless (infertile), single child, small child, large family family.

3. By structure: with one married couple with or without children; with one married couple with or without children, with one of the parents of the spouses and other relatives; with two or more married couples with or without children, with or without one of the parents of the spouses and other relatives; with mother (father) with children; with mother (father) with children, with one of the parents and other relatives; other families.

4. By composition: incomplete family, separate, simple (nuclear), complex (family of several generations), large family.

5. By geographic feature: urban, rural, remote family (living in hard-to-reach areas and in the regions of the Far North).

6. By homogeneity of the social composition: socially homogeneous (homogeneous) families ( have similar level education And character professional activities at spouses ); heterogeneous ( heterogeneous) families: unite people of different levels of education and professional orientation.

7. By family history: newlyweds; young family expecting a baby; family of middle marital age; senior marital age; elderly couples.

8. By type leading needs whose satisfaction determines features of the social behavior of members of the family group, distinguish families with a "physiological" or "naive-consumer" type of consumption (mainly with a food orientation); families with an "intellectual" type of consumption, i.e. with a high level of spending on spiritual life; families with an intermediate type of consumption.

9. According to the features of the existing family way of life and organization of family life: the family is an “outlet” (gives a person communication, moral and material support); family of detocentric type (children in the center interests of parents); a family like a sports team or a discussion club (they travel a lot, see a lot, know how, know); a family that puts comfort, health, and order first.

10. By nature of the Leisure: family open(focused on communication and the cultural industry) and closed(focused on intra-family leisure).

11. By the nature of the distribution of household duties: families traditional(duties are mostly performed by a woman) and collectivist(duties are performed jointly or in turn).

12. By headship type(distribution of power) families can be authoritarian and democratic.

13. Depending on special conditions for organizing family life: student family (both spouses study at the university) and "distant" family (separate residence of marriage partners due to the specifics of the profession of one of them or both: families of sailors, polar explorers, astronauts, geologists, artists, athletes, etc.).

14. By the quality of relationships and the atmosphere in the family: prosperous ( spouses and other members of the family highly appreciate each other, the authority of the husband is high, there are practically no conflicts, there are own traditions and rituals), sustainable(practically have the same features as prosperous families), pedagogically weak(low educational characteristics, preference is given to the physical condition and well-being of the child); unstable family(high level of dissatisfaction of both spouses with family life, including their role and position in the family, which leads to unpredictable behavior); disorganized(a pronounced lag in family relations from the general level of development of society is manifested: drunkenness, archaic relations of rude dictate; there is practically no internal unity and contacts between family members); socially disadvantaged(low cultural level of family members, alcohol consumption by one or both spouses or parents); problematic(lack of reciprocity among spouses and inability to cooperate); conflict ( the presence of psychological incompatibility among spouses or family members); disintegrating family union (an excessively aggravated conflict situation in the family, in fact, the marriage has already broken up, but the spouses continue to live together, which is considered the most traumatic source for the child due to the duration of the stressful situation and leads to disturbances in the development of his personality); disintegrated family - a situation where one of the parents lives separately, but to some extent retains contacts with the former family and performs another part of the functions.

16. By social role characteristics stand out traditional, child-centric and married families.

17. By the nature of communication and emotional relationships in the family marriages are classified into symmetrical, complementary and metacomplementary.

IN symmetrical In a marriage union, both spouses have equal rights, none of them is subordinate to the other. Problems are solved by agreement, exchange or compromise. IN complementary marriage one disposes, gives orders, the other obeys, awaits advice or instructions. IN metacomplementary In a marriage, a leading position is reached by a partner who realizes his own goals by emphasizing his weakness, inexperience, ineptness and impotence, thus manipulating his partner.

Depending on the characteristics of emotional communication between parents and children in the structure of family relationships, the American psychologist L. Wursmer distinguishes four types of families, the basis for the functioning of which are certain types of pathology (disturbances) in family communication.

In the modern world there is no single type of family. According to the criterion of management, there are:

-totemic clan, characterized by belief in a common ancestor, the preservation of group marriage, the counting of descent through the mother;

- home community- living together for several generations under female or male control;

-patriarchal family- the head, who (often an older man, but there are exceptions) is the sole owner of the property and therefore the manager and manager of the entire life of the family community, uniting several generations under one roof. Functional responsibilities in such a family are clearly defined and traditional, therefore this form of family is also called "traditional";

- neotraditional family is the transformation of the patriarchal in modern conditions. It differs from the traditional patriarchal one in that it retains a focus on male leadership and a distinction between male and female responsibilities, but without sufficient objective economic grounds. Sociologists call this type of family exploitative, because along with the right to equal participation in social work with men, a woman receives an “exclusive” right to domestic work;

-egalitarian family- this is already a real, but not yet the dominant form of management of the modern family. Such a family is characterized by the following features:

a) a fair, proportional division of household duties among family members;

b) interchangeability of spouses in solving everyday problems (“role symmetry”);

c) discussion of the main problems and joint adoption of important decisions for the family;

d) emotional richness of relationships.

According to the criterion of structure, families are distinguished:

- extended the family includes representatives of at least three generations of relatives: grandparents - grandfather and grandmother, parents - father and mother, children (grandchildren) - sons and daughters (grandchildren and granddaughters), sometimes there are great-grandchildren, less often great-great-grandchildren. An incomplete extended family is most often formed after the death of one of the older parents, when the left one unites with the family of a son or daughter.

-nuclear(lat. Nucleus - core) . consists of two generations - parents and children. In Europe, there are about 80% of nuclear families, in Russia - about 60%.

- incomplete called a family without one of the parents. Most often this is a post-divorce family, but a single mother's family has become very common in the 20th century.

According to the criterion of childhood, they distinguish:

Families childless- These are young families before the birth of their first child, as well as married couples who are not able to have children or do not want to have them. There are currently more than 15% of such people in Russia, but there are alarming data on the growth of this category.

- one-childfamilies is also a difficult problem for any society, since such families do not provide even simple reproduction. In Russia, there are about half of such families, which is the main reason for the depopulation that began in the 1990s. - small children called families with two children. This is the second largest group of Russian families. As for families

-large families, that is, different opinions about the starting point for the number of children to be assigned to this category. Some believe that large families begin with three children, and the administration of some cities even issues certificates of large families to such families and assigns certain benefits. If we calculate according to this method, then there are more than 10% of large families in Russia. However, the majority proceeds from the criterion of having many children established back in the Soviet Union - five or more, for which the mother in those days was awarded medals and orders. A little more than 1% of families correspond to this indicator.

According to the criterion of the social status of spouses, families can be:

- homogeneous(homogamous), where spouses have the same social origin and social status;

- heterogeneous(heterogamous) , if the marriage was unequal - by age, ethnicity, confessional affiliation or other socially significant sign.

Sociologists also divide families into parental ones, i.e. families of origin and procreation, i.e. created by adult children separated from their parents.

In modern statistics, families are divided into types based on demographics - gender, age, kinship relationships, as well as the number of employees, social and national affiliation, and other indicators. This classification allows you to calculate some general indicators:

Share of incomplete families;

The share of simple and complex families,

Families are childless and have many children, which is important in the development of social programs and social policy in general.

The structure of the family as an integral system largely depends on the type of family group.

Despite the fact that the family is the oldest and most widespread social group, most people's knowledge about it is limited only to the division of families into good (prosperous) and bad (unfavorable). However, in order to better navigate the solution of many family problems, such an obviously superficial idea of the varieties (types) of the family, of course, is not enough. The presence of a system of knowledge about the types, forms, types of families and the characteristics of relationships within each model of a marriage union allows you to take a more “professional” look at your own family, and be more attentive to the problems that arise in it. In addition, different types of families function differently in various areas of family relations. The use of diverse typologies helps to get a more complete, multi-colored picture of the most important characteristics of the family in social and scientific terms: marriage, divorce, fertility, the influence of the family on the upbringing of children, etc.

To date, scientists have not yet been able to compile a complete classification of families due to their diversity among representatives of different cultures. In the list of various forms of modern families, there are more than forty varieties of them. The book gives a family classification, taking into account those models that are common to most cultures and at the same time are widely represented in modern Russian reality. As a basis for the proposed typology, essential criteria are taken that allow one or another form of a family organization to be distinguished, taking into account its structure, dynamics and functions. At the same time, the book also includes some author's typologies, since the forms of family unions described in them are not found in other classifications.

As you know, there is no family at all. There are specific families: urban and rural, young and old; families belonging to different educational and social groups, etc. The importance of identifying certain types of families is also explained by the fact that, despite the commonality of internal relations, they have their own specifics, due to national, cultural, religious, age, professional and other differences.

The more such groups can be identified, the more thoroughly and scientifically substantiated the family is studied, which, in turn, allows people to avoid many mistakes in building their family life, making it psychologically comfortable and happier.

Each society makes different demands on the nature of relations between spouses, on ways to take care of disabled family members, on the participation of people in work, on organizing everyday life, ensuring the safety of family members, spending leisure time, etc. Depending on whether these requirements are observed or not observed by the family, the family union is distinguished by certain features, which naturally affects the family atmosphere as a whole and the psychological well-being of each family member.

The fundamental principle of modern monogamy (monogamy) is patriarchal family, which is characterized by the dominant position of men in family relations.

Initially, the patriarchal family was quite numerous: it included relatives and descendants of one father with their wives, children and relatives, slaves, including concubines. The Latin word "surname" in ancient times meant a set of slaves belonging to one person. Such a family sometimes numbered hundreds of people. In various modifications, the patriarchal family existed among different peoples. In Rus', it took the form of a large family headed by a man, consisting of several generations of close relatives who lived under the same roof and ran a joint household.

During the formation of the capitalist mode of production, the traditional patriarchal nuclear family (from the Latin "nucleus" - the core). For the first time, the name "nuclear" in relation to the family was introduced into scientific use by the American sociologist J.P. Murdoch in 1949. This kind of family consists only of the most necessary members for its education - husband and wife; it can be both childless and include any number of children.

A modern monogamous family can have several types that differ from each other in certain ways.

2. By number of children: childless (infertile), single child, small child, large family family.

4. By composition: incomplete family, separate, simple (nuclear), complex (family of several generations), large family.

5. By geographic feature: urban, rural, remote family (living in hard-to-reach areas and in the regions of the Far North).

7. By family history: newlyweds; young family expecting a baby; family of middle marital age; senior marital age; elderly couples.

9. According to the features of the existing family way of life and organization of family life: family - "vent" (gives a person communication, moral and material support); family of detocentric type (children in the center interests of parents); a family like a sports team or a discussion club (they travel a lot, see a lot, know how, know); a family that puts comfort, health, and order first.

10. By nature of the Leisure: family open(focused on communication and the cultural industry) and closed(focused on intra-family leisure).

11. By the nature of the distribution of household duties: families traditional(duties are mostly performed by a woman) and collectivist(duties are performed jointly or in turn).

12. By headship type(distribution of power) families can be authoritarian and democratic.

authoritarian family characterized strict , unquestioning subjugation wife to husband or husband to wife and children to parents. The husband (and sometimes the wife) is the monopoly head, the despotic master. Democratic the family is based on mutual respect for family members, on the distribution of family roles in accordance with the needs of a particular situation, on the personal qualities and abilities of the spouses, on the equal participation of each of them in all matters of family life, on the joint adoption of all important decisions. In a democratic family, as a rule, there is no “official” head, but there is a leader, an authoritative person. Moreover, the husband can be a leader in some respects, and the wife in others; in some life situations, even growing children can become leaders.

Participation in the production of both spouses, their relatively equal contribution to the common economy, the legal equality of family members contribute to the formation of egalitarian relations in the family. The modern nuclear family is becoming egalitarian(from the Latin word "egalitare" - an equal union, i.e. with an equal share of the rights and responsibilities of all its adult members, with a fairly independent position of children).

15. By composition of spouses in a nuclear family: full(includes father, mother and children) and incomplete(one of the parents is missing)  . The so-called functionally incomplete Families: Professional or other reasons leave spouses little time for family.

incomplete a family is formed as a result of the dissolution of a marriage, the birth of a child out of wedlock, the death of one of the parents or their separation. In this regard, the following types of incomplete families are distinguished: orphaned, illegitimate, divorced, broken up.

Depending on the presence of the main parent, maternal and paternal single-parent families are distinguished. According to the number of generations in a family, incomplete downtime(mother or father with a child or several children) and incomplete extended: mother (father) with one or more children and other relatives.

16. By social role characteristics stand out traditional, child-centric and married families. Most researchers single out three “pure” family types according to this criterion, which, on the one hand, have a historical character, since they developed chronologically sequentially, from the first to the third type. On the other hand, in modern reality, these types exist in parallel, to a greater extent already mixed, although retaining the main features of a certain “ideal” type.

The first type is traditional family". In more or less pure form, such families are common in developing countries, and in our country - in Central Asia and some regions of the Caucasus. In such families, the core of the system is not interpersonal, but socially and culturally defined relations between its members.

In Russia, such a family is well described in Domostroy, which clearly defines the requirements for all family members depending on their social role. The rights and obligations of the husband - the head of the family in relation to his wife, children and parents are described in detail; all other family members in relation to each other.

The place of children in such a family is obviously determined by the whole way of life, it is the smaller, the younger the child. Children should not interfere too actively in the life of the family, respecting and strictly observing the requirements of the elders, they seem to stay on the periphery of the family system, filling, but not defining it. The main influence here is “vertical”: from top to bottom, the requirement for the subordination of the younger members of the family to its older representatives.

Such a family system is stable as long as the child does not offer serious resistance. With excessive rigidity of parental requirements, which are not so easy to fulfill, such children, rather than in other families, develop deceit, aggressiveness, cruelty, or vice versa: lack of will and apathy.

The second type of family that has historically developed in Europe in the 18th-19th centuries is the so-called " childcentric family". Here, interpersonal relationships, the desire to form close and warm emotionally saturated contacts are, as it were, squeezed out by the primacy of the common over the personal in the sphere of relations between parents and the child, characteristic of the traditional family. Despite the fact that the relationship between the spouses remains set from the outside and, as it were, does not depend on whether they love each other, it is “allowed” to spread the feeling of love to the child.

If in a traditional family the basis of relationships is respect for authority, then in a child-centric family, “the happiness of the child” acts as such a link.

Thus, from the very beginning, the child occupies a central, dominant place in such a family. Parents live for him, consciously or subconsciously assuming that in the future he will live for them.

The main influence in such a family is “vertical”, but not from the top down (as in a traditional family), but from the bottom up (from the child to the parents). The child has a certain power over the parents and can even control them to some extent.

An unconscious motive for the appearance of a child in such a family may be a feeling of dissatisfaction with the spouses about their relationship and a desire to fill the emotional vacuum.

If the idea of "everything for the child" is too pronounced, the result may be a "family idol" upbringing. In the future, this is fraught with sharp conflicts with other people and wounded ambition.

The third type is the famous sociologist S.I. The hunger called married family, the basis of which is the relationship between spouses. Their relationship is a relationship of equal partners based on trust, acceptance of another person, respect for each other, tolerance, goodwill.

Such a family is created not because “it’s customary” or “it’s time to get married”, not in order to have children, but by free mutual choice. In this family, unlike families of the other two types, there may not be children at all, there may be only one child or several. All this does not interfere with the main type of relationship, including with a child, communication with which, as with adults, is also built taking into account the personality and mutual interests.

17. By the nature of communication and emotional relationships in the family marriages are classified into symmetrical, complementary and metacomplementary.

1. Families with "child trauma". People who have experienced childhood abuse may then identify with either the perpetrator or the victim. But in both cases, feelings of pain, shame, horror, helplessness after violence, especially from parents, can become the causes of alcohol and drug abuse in adolescence and adulthood.

2. "Obsessive family." In such a family, parents impose themselves on the child, obsessively control his behavior, which can cause him to feel shame and anger. Parents in such families often have grandiose, unrealistic expectations for their children. Under such conditions, false identity masks, hypocritical roles that children use to protect themselves, can arise. False identities, mismatch with one's true I, may compensatory lead to the use of alcohol and drugs.

3. "False family." As a result of the constant lies cultivated in her, shame becomes the dominant emotion in the child, depersonalization occurs, and the sense of reality is lost. Growing alienation, falsity of relationships in the family can become one of the factors of initiation and consumption of psychoactive substances.

4. " inconsistent, unreliable family". In it, what is approved today is condemned tomorrow, what the father praises, then the mother scolds. As a result, the stability of the super-ego is disturbed. This can be one of the reasons for the child's desocialization and substance abuse.

The Czech demographer and sociologist K. Vitek, on the basis of his own scientific research on the emotional tone of marital relations, identifies six types of families - from an ideal marriage to a marriage in the stage of divorce. Each of them has its own socio-psychological characteristics.

1. " Ideal» Marriage is characterized by the maximum mutual affection of the spouses, the desire to be together, unconditional observance of moral principles, a feeling of complete satisfaction and happiness.

2. Marriage "generally good", stable is characterized by devotion to a partner and family. Despite the disappointments sometimes experienced, the spouses strive to revive and enrich their relationship as much as possible. This type also includes a marriage that persists mainly because of children, without much emotional attachment. Nevertheless, separation from a partner or the loss of him would be felt as a heavy blow of fate. A marriage that exists by inertia, by mutual agreement, can also be stable. The departure or loss of a partner in this case would not feel like a heavy blow of fate. In some families of this type, delight and disappointment constantly alternate, but the spouses do not feel the need to part forever.

3. Marriage emotionally disturbed, but with the potential for continued existence, it may be accompanied by constant quarrels and claims.

4. Emotionally dysfunctional marriage with conscious infidelity. Every lives their interests , and spouses do not seek to spend free time together.

5. Married on the brink of divorce it is common for spouses to mutually realize that there is no more marital balance.

6. disintegrated marriage is a family union that has actually ceased to exist.

American psychologist and psychotherapist K. Whitaker identifies the following types of families:

1. Biopsychosocial family - here relate So called natural families, which consist from two steam senior generations , couples of parents and children. Similarities and coincidences between grandparents, parents and children are as strong as they are inevitable. The uniqueness of the situation lies in the fact that, as soon as one member of the family peers into the face of another, he immediately discovers in it certain physical and symbolic components of his own personality. And this raises even more deep tension.

2. Psychosocial family - a family in which there is no blood relationship, but there is a spiritual relationship, emotional and psychological closeness. Family members are close to each other in terms of psychological and social characteristics, they are social relatives. For example, spouses and adopted children. Marriage can be defined as the decision made by one whole person to associate himself with another whole person with the guarantee of the inseparability of this connection, although the possibility of a break is not excluded. If such a gap occurs, then it will be possible to eliminate it, and the family becomes even stronger. Investments made in family life are non-refundable as an irrevocable contribution. No one has the right to the main capital, partners can only use interest, at their discretion, either replenishing the initial capital with them, or transferring them to a separate account.

3. Social family. The family here means only that there is a relationship between partners, due either to common interests, or professional activities, or the need to maintain contacts at the level of a business partnership. Emotional attachment may not be, meeting from case to case. Relations in this kind of family inevitably have an end, which is formalized on the basis of a peaceful agreement using the already existing, well-known principles of social settlement of such situations. Negative dynamics may arise within the social family, but, as a rule, it does not turn into a war, since corporate interests come first, and the duration of the union is obviously limited by time frames. To some extent, this union resembles a foster family.

Many scientists note that the most progressive and most relevant to modern conditions is egalitarian a family that assumes complete and genuine equality of spouses in all matters of family life without exception. However, the creation of an egalitarian union is now an increasingly difficult task due to the wide variety of family forms and the significant divergence of partners' marriage and family ideas about the components of family happiness. An egalitarian family implies, firstly, a thorough and scrupulous description of the rights and obligations of the spouses, and secondly, a very high culture of communication, respect for the personality of the other, mutual awareness and trust in relationships. At the same time, such a family retains some elements inherent in patriarchal and matriarchal family structures. The division of family power (their main element) envisaged by these ways of life may well be realized in modern unions, but only on condition that this division suits both spouses. Currently, the issue of patriarchy and matriarchy is a problem of intra-family leadership. In a neopatriarchal family, the husband is the strategic (extra-family) and business leader, and the wife is the tactical (intra-family) and emotional leader. In a neo-matriarchal marriage, the spheres of leadership of the husband and wife are reversed.

Based on the fact that egalitarian marriage in its purest form is quite rare, its can be considered only as an ideal version of the relationship of spouses, the American sociologist P. Herbst came to the conclusion that in the modern model of an egalitarian family there are always elements of a patriarchal or matriarchal family structure. Depending on the degree of manifestation of these elements in the modern family, P. Herbst identified four leading types of marriage.

1. Autonomous sample. In such a family, the husband and wife have different attitudes to life and different value orientations. Decisions are made jointly, are of a compromise nature and are a "triumph of heterogeneities." The difference in characters and worldviews does not play a negative role here, since it is assumed by the very system of relationships that arise in such a family.

2. During family The husband plays the leading role in the relationship. Features of his personality, worldview and attitude to life are decisive for all family members. The role of the wife turns out to be noticeably less important here and is mainly outlined by the circle of "female" duties.

3. Type of family in which the wife plays a decisive role. However, the significance of the husband here is greater than that of the wife in the second type, since he is not limited to performing purely "male" duties, but performs some purely "female" functions.

4. "Syncretic family", according to the typology of P. Herbst, is an ideal model of marriage. Roles in such a family are distributed evenly, and the decision is made on the basis of recognition of the independence of each of the spouses (and not on the basis of compromise).

In a separate group should be allocated in a separate group dysfunctional families. The scientific literature does not give a clear definition of the concept of "family trouble", since the cause of its occurrence and the forms of manifestation are quite diverse. Different meanings are put into the content of this concept and such families are called differently: “unfavorable”, “difficult”, “destructive”, “dysfunctional”, “uncontrollable”, etc.

Dysfunctional families are different in their social attitudes, their interests, But myself life style these families adult behavior, their mood are such that they lead to deviations in the moral development of the child. Taking into account social attitudes, prevailing interests, lifestyle and behavioral characteristics of adults, psychotherapist V.V. Yustitsky distinguishes such types of family and marriage unions, How "distrustful family", "frivolous family" And "cunning family". It is with these metaphorical names that he denotes certain forms of hidden family trouble.

"Untrustworthy Family" A characteristic feature of such a family is an increased distrust of others (neighbors, acquaintances, colleagues, employees of institutions with which family members have to communicate). Family members deliberately consider everyone unfriendly or simply indifferent, and their intentions towards the family are hostile. Even in an ordinary act, some intent, a threat, self-interest are found. Such a family, as a rule, maintains weak contacts with neighbors, and the relations of family members with relatives and colleagues often become acutely conflicting. Most often this is due to the imaginary infringement of the interests of one of the members of this family.

If a child commits an offense or comes into conflict with friends or teachers, in all cases the parents consider him right, or at least lay most of the blame on others. Even if parents cannot deny the direct guilt of their son or daughter, in conversation they focus not on guilt, but on their pedagogical efforts, which turned out to be useless due to the lack of support or the unfriendly attitude of others. Such a position of the parents also forms in the child himself a distrustful and hostile attitude towards others. He develops suspicion, aggressiveness, it is increasingly difficult for him to enter into friendly contacts with peers. At school, a child from such a family begins to conflict with teachers and educators, never admits his mistakes and does not admit his guilt, and his parents take his side. It turns out a vicious circle: these conflicts, on the one hand, are generated by the views perceived by the child in the family, and on the other hand, they further increase the distrust of the family itself, the aggravation of its relations with the social environment.

Children from such families are most susceptible to the influence of antisocial groups, since the psychology of these groups is close to them: hostility towards others, aggressiveness. It is not easy to establish spiritual contact with them and gain their trust, as they do not believe in sincerity in advance and are waiting for some kind of trick.

« Frivolous family"is distinguished by a carefree attitude towards the future, not caring about what consequences today's actions will have tomorrow. Members of such a family gravitate towards momentary pleasures, their plans for the future are, as a rule, uncertain. Even if someone expresses dissatisfaction with the present and a desire to live differently, he does not think about how this can be done. In such a family, they do not like to talk about what and how they should change in their lives, they are more inclined to “get used to” any circumstances, they are not able and unwilling to overcome difficulties.

Here, as a rule, they do not know how, and do not seek to organize their leisure in an interesting way. Preference is given to activities that do not require any effort. The main entertainment is watching TV shows (they watch inattentively and indiscriminately), organizing parties and feasts. Drinking as the easiest and most accessible means of obtaining momentary pleasure is easily inculcated in families of this type.

The “frivolous family” is almost constantly in a state of internal discord, contradictions very easily turn into numerous conflicts. Quarrels instantly flare up over any trifle.

Children in such families grow up with an insufficient level of volitional regulation and organization, they are drawn to primitive entertainment. They commit misconduct most often due to a thoughtless attitude to life, lack of firm principles and insufficient ability to show their strong-willed qualities.

IN " cunning family" First of all, they value enterprise, luck and dexterity in achieving life goals. The main thing is the ability to achieve success in the shortest way, with minimal labor and time. At the same time, members of such a family easily cross the boundaries of acceptable behavior. Laws and moral norms are something relative for them. Family members may engage in various activities of dubious legality.

Another characteristic feature of such a family is the desire to use others for their own purposes. This family knows how to impress the person they want, and is concerned with how to create a wide circle of useful acquaintances.

These features of family psychology are easiest to notice when it comes to the work activity of adult family members, plans for the future for children. Entrepreneurial parents also awaken the spirit of adventurism in their children. Moral assessments of the actions of children in such a family, as a rule, are shifted in a peculiar way. If a child has violated the rules of conduct or legal norms, parents tend to condemn not the violation itself, but its consequences. As a result of such an "educational" attitude, the same attitude is formed in him: the main thing is not to get caught.

Of course, this list does not exhaust the typology of families in which the negative features of the lifestyle are so clearly expressed. There are many varieties of family life, where these signs are somewhat smoothed out, and the consequences of improper upbringing are not so clear. However, these negative consequences do exist. One of the most noticeable is the mental loneliness of children in the family. This fact is taken into account in the Richter-Spivakovskaya typology.

1. Outwardly "calm family" is different topics , What events V her flow smoothly. From the outside it may seem that the relations of its members are ordered and coordinated.

But in such family unions, behind a prosperous “facade”, negative feelings for each other are hidden for a long time and strongly suppressed. The containment of emotions often has a detrimental effect on well-being, spouses are prone to persistent mood disorders, often feel morally and physically tired, powerless people. Often there are prolonged bouts of bad mood, melancholy, depression.

This type of relationship is unfavorable for the development of the child: when family relationships are built on the basis of maintaining visible benevolence, designed to hide irreconcilable contradictions and mutually negative experiences, the child feels helpless and constantly fears. His life is filled with an unaccountable feeling of constant anxiety, the child feels danger, but does not understand its source, lives in constant tension and is unable to ease it.

2. " Volcanic" family: in this family, relationships are changeable and open. Spouses often disperse and converge, scandal, quarrel, in order to soon love tenderly and confess their love for the rest of their lives. In this case, spontaneity, emotional immediacy prevail over a sense of responsibility.

How does such a family climate affect the well-being of the child?

In families whose emotional atmosphere pulsates between extreme poles, children experience significant emotional overload. Quarrels between parents acquire catastrophic proportions in the eyes of the child, this is a real tragedy for him. The child does not have a sense of stability, constancy, he is afraid of the future, distrust of everything.

Thus, whether parents want it or not, whether they are aware of their marital relationship or not, the prevailing emotional atmosphere of the family has a negative impact on the personality of the child.

Already on the example of these types of families, one can observe a feature that always accompanies disharmonious unions. It consists in a certain inertia, stereotyping of relations. Once and for all, a spontaneously developed style is fixed, and remains unchanged for many years. As a rule, the developed stereotype of relations to some extent strengthens the marriage, increases its stability, although not on a harmonious basis. Therefore, the attempts of one of the spouses to change the style of communication often encounter resistance from the partner. To harmonize relations in the family, joint conscious efforts are needed.

3. Family - "sanatorium" - typical example of family disharmony. One of the spouses, whose emotional reactions are expressed in increased anxiety in front of the outside world, the demand for love and care, creates a specific limitation, a barrier to new experience. Such protection makes it possible to reduce the feeling of anxiety in front of the uncertainty of the surrounding world. All family members, including children, are gradually drawn into a narrow, limited circle. The behavior of the spouses takes the form of a "resort", efforts are expended on a kind of collective self-restraint. Spouses spend all the time together and try to keep children near them. Attempts of some separation are perceived as a threat to the very existence of the family, the circle of contacts is gradually limited, contacts with friends are reduced, as a rule, under the pretext of differences in views and values. The family only outwardly seems solidary, in the depths of the relationship lies the disturbing dependence of one of the partners. The union becomes not freely equal in rights, but symbiotically dependent. This means that one of the family members (both adults and children can become them) limits his duties, forcing loved ones to surround him more and more with attention.

The position of children in such families can be different. In the case when the family turns into a "sanatorium" for mother or father, children are usually deprived of the necessary care, they lack maternal acceptance and love. As a rule, they are involved early in housework, experience physical and nervous overload for years, become overly anxious and emotionally dependent, while maintaining a warm, loving and caring attitude towards their parents. In those cases when brothers or sisters, grandparents, as well as one of the other relatives are surrounded by a "sanatorium" relationship, the child's intra-family position changes. The limitation of the family to care, internal relationships leads to a constant fixation of attention on health (children may experience a fear of illness, which, under certain adverse situations, can lead to the formation of a personality in which caring for health becomes a particularly significant activity), emphasizing all kinds of dangers, intimidation . The need to keep the child in the family leads to the discrediting of social values, to the depreciation of the communication of the child, his friends and preferred forms of spending free time. Petty guardianship, tight control and excessive protection from real and imaginary dangers are characteristic signs of the attitude towards children in families of the "sanatorium" type.

Such parental positions often lead to excessive overload of the child's nervous system, in which neurotic breakdowns, emotional characteristics such as hypersensitivity, irritability occur. With increased control and guardianship in children, especially in adolescence, reactions of protest and a desire for early departure from the family intensify.

4. Family-"fortress": such unions are based on ideas about the threat, aggressiveness and cruelty of the surrounding world, about universal evil and people as carriers of evil. Often such ideas are reinforced by the need to bring negative emotions that arise in the family beyond its borders. In such cases, mutually hostile impulses are transferred to the external world as a whole: to individuals, to groups of people, to certain forms of worldview. The spouses have a pronounced strengthening of the sense of "we". They are, as it were, psychologically arming themselves against the whole world. Behind this behavior is often a lack of genuine psychological tendencies that naturally hold the family together.

Often in such families there is unconditional dominance of one of the parents, all family life is strictly regulated and subordinated to certain goals, the ossified fixation of certain family roles creates the appearance of intra-family solidarity, although the emotional atmosphere within the family is devoid of natural warmth and immediacy.

The attitude towards children in such a family is also strictly regulated, the need to limit ties outside the family leads to the rigid fixation of all kinds of restrictions, to the prescription of the implementation of strict rules, which are declaratively explained by the need to take care of the unborn child. There are families in which the spiritual indifference to the child, the callousness of one of the despot parents is unsuccessfully compensated by the excessive guardianship and petty care of the other. However, the need to hold the family together on the part of the subordinate parent makes custody inconsistent, deprives the relationship of emotional openness and sincerity.

Love for a child is becoming more and more conditional, a child is loved only when it justifies the requirements placed on it by the family circle. Parents love not so much the child himself, but rather the image of the Self that is generated by family positions and imposed on the child. Such a family atmosphere and type of upbringing lead to an increase in the child's self-doubt, lack of initiative, sometimes intensify protest reactions and provoke behavior of the type of stubbornness and negativism. In many cases, the concentration of the child's attention on his own inner experiences is fixed, which leads to his psychological isolation, causes difficulties in communicating with peers. The "fortress" family puts the child in a contradictory position, a situation of internal conflict caused by a mismatch between the demands of the parents, the social environment and the child's own experience.

5. The theater family: such families maintain stability through a specific "theatrical" lifestyle. The focus of such a family is always play and effect. As a rule, one of the spouses in such families experiences an acute need for recognition, constant attention, encouragement, admiration, he is acutely experiencing a lack of love.

The entire scenario constructed by the family unconsciously serves as a defense against the realization of the illusory nature of past ideas, unfulfilled desires, and expectations that were not justified in the marriage union. "Family Theater" is designed to maintain the appearance of well-being and maintain the necessary close distance.

In dealing with children, prohibitions and encouragements are quickly declared and are also quickly forgotten. The love and care for the child demonstrated to outsiders does not save children from the feeling that parents are not up to them, and that their parental duties are only a formal necessity imposed by social norms. Often in the "family theater" contact with the child, attention to his life is replaced by the provision of special improved material conditions.

In the theatrical way of life of the family, a special attitude towards the child often arises, associated with the desire to hide his shortcomings and imperfections, to cover up difficulties by demonstrating imaginary virtues and achievements. All this leads to a weakening of self-control, a loss of internal discipline. The lack of genuine closeness with parents forms the selfish orientation of the individual.

6. The "third wheel" family. This type of family arises in cases where the personal characteristics of the spouses and the style of their interaction is of particular importance, and the need to take on parental roles is unconsciously perceived as an obstacle to marital happiness. This happens with the psychological immaturity of one or both parents, with the unpreparedness of their personal development for the performance of parental functions. As a result, a style of relations with the child arises according to the type of hidden rejection.

Often, in contacts with a child, parents tend to inspire children with a sense of inferiority, endlessly fixing their attention on shortcomings and imperfections. Raising children in such situations leads to the formation of self-doubt, lack of initiative, fixation on weaknesses, children are characterized by painful experiences of their own inferiority with increased dependence on their parents. The resulting dependence burdens adults, provoking an increase in latent rejection. In such families, children often have fears for the life and health of their parents, they can hardly endure even temporary separation from them, and they do not adapt well in children's groups.

7. "Family with an idol": This type is quite common. Relations between family members lead to the creation of a "family idol" when raising a child is the only thing that holds together marital relations and caring for a child becomes the only force that can keep parents together. The child turns out to be the center of the family, becomes the object of increased attention and care, inflated expectations of parents. Many of his actions are perceived without proper criticism, the slightest whims are immediately satisfied, real and imaginary virtues are exaggerated.

The desire to protect the child from the difficulties of life leads to a restriction of independence, which is largely facilitated by the unconscious tendency to slow down the growing up of the child, since the decrease in guardianship threatens to break the family group. The child is brought up in conditions of effeminacy, weariness, universal admiration and tenderness. With such upbringing, children become dependent, activity is lost, motives are weakened. Along with this, the need for positive assessments increases, children lack love; clashes with the outside world, communication with peers, where the child does not receive the desired high marks, become a source of more and more new experiences. The demand for recognition at any cost gives rise to a demonstrative style of behavior. Critical awareness of one's own personal qualities is replaced by negative assessments of others, a sense of injustice and cruelty of others.

8. Family-"masquerade". Building their lives around differently understood values, serving different gods, parents put the child in a situation of different demands and inconsistent assessments. Education takes on the features of inconsistency, and the world for the child appears as different, sometimes contradictory sides. The flickering of "masks" increases the feeling of anxiety. Inconsistency in the actions of parents, for example, increased demands of the father with excessive guardianship and forgiveness of the mother, causes the child to be confused and split his self-esteem. Exaggerated claims, combined with insufficient capacity for volitional efforts, give rise to internal conflict and constant dissatisfaction with oneself and others.

The described forms of family trouble are quite common in our society. Their destructive influence on the development of the personality of not only a child, but also adults is obvious.

From the point of view of the negative influence of elders on the personality and behavior of minor children, F.S. Makhov singled out three main groups of families. First group It is characterized by acute conflict relationships between all family members and low social activity of parents both in the sphere of work (service) and in the sphere of free time. Unscrupulous attitude to work, everyday promiscuity, drunkenness, constant family scandals lead these families to actual disintegration. "Male" and "female" education in them is characterized by extreme negative manifestations: cruelty and licentiousness, rudeness and cynicism.

Co. second group Families distinguished by external decency of intra-family relations and rather high business (industrial, service) activity of parents are included. However, their daily family life is disordered due to official or eternal employment, due to the indifference of spouses to each other and children. Outwardly regulated relations in these families are supported by the parents' conviction of the need to preserve the family for the sake of some mercantile or prestigious considerations. Children in such families often experience a lack of parental love, affection and attention. Sons are especially neglected and ill-bred in such families, since their fathers devote a lot of time and energy to their “other” life.

For third group families, a low social orientation of the personality of the spouses is typical with positive relations between them. In such families, parents, often taking a responsible attitude to the education of their children and their material support, are indifferent to other areas of their life. They care mainly about their own well-being, which leads to the formation of selfishness in children. In the educational team, adolescents from such families often experience difficulties in communication, are distinguished by arrogance, intolerance towards teachers and students. They often painfully experience the success of their comrades, react sharply to changes in the attitudes of their peers towards themselves. Boys, as a rule, are distinguished by social passivity, while girls are distinguished by increased attention to their appearance and female vanity.

For all three groups of "difficult" (unfavorable) families, for all their differences, the lack of interest of parents in the inner spiritual life of children is characteristic.

Among the functionally insolvent families stand out conflict families characterized by unfavorable socio-psychological factors (primarily chronic aggravation of relations between spouses), and pedagogically untenable families with a low psychological and pedagogical culture of parents, the wrong style of parent-child relationships.

Although, in general, each functionally wealthy family can be characterized by several risk factors at once that adversely affect the upbringing of children, at the same time, by the nature of the prevailing, dominant adverse effects exerted by the family as an institution of socialization on the personality of the child, one can single out families with the so-called direct and indirect desocializing influence. In other words, families where patterns of asocial behavior and antisocial orientations, the beliefs of parents are directly demonstrated; and families that lead a healthy lifestyle, are positively socially oriented, but, due to various socio-psychological difficulties of an intra-family nature, have lost their influence on children, are not able to perform the socializing functions of transferring social experience and raising children. Such an approach to the typology of functionally insolvent families is offered by psychologist S. A. Belicheva, who uses the nature of the desocializing influence exerted by families on their children as the main criterion.

Families with direct desocializing influence demonstrate antisocial behavior and antisocial orientations, thus acting as institutions of desocialization. These can be attributed criminal-immoral and immoral-asocial families.

Families with indirect desocializing influence experiencing difficulties of a socio-psychological and psychological-pedagogical nature, expressed in violations of marital and child-parent relationships. These are the so-called conflicting and pedagogically untenable families, which more often due to psychological reasons lose their influence on children.

The greatest danger in terms of their negative impact on children is criminal and immoral families. The life of children in these families is often under threat due to abuse, drunken scandals, sexual promiscuity of parents, lack of elementary care for the maintenance of children. These are the so-called social orphans (orphans with living parents). They very early begin to wander, run away from home, they are distinguished by complete social vulnerability both from cruel treatment in the family and from the criminal influence of criminal formations.

These families are not only socially disadvantaged, but also criminally dangerous. Around such families, as a rule, whole companies of neighbor children arise, who, under the influence of adults, become involved in alcohol, vagrancy, theft and begging, and a criminal subculture.

TO asocial-immoral families most often include families with open acquisitive attitudes and interests, living on the principle of “the end justifies the means”, in which there are no moral norms and restrictions. Outwardly, the situation in these families may look quite decent, the standard of living is quite high, but due importance is not attached to spiritual values, which ultimately can lead to an orientation towards satisfying primitive needs and setting base goals with very indiscriminate means to achieve them. Such families, despite their external respectability, also have a direct desocializing influence on children, directly instilling in them antisocial views and value orientations. In relation to such parents and their children, corrective methods based on the principles of “reverse socialization” are most applicable, when through maturing children, who quite clearly reflect the internal appearance of their parents, parents rethink their own positions. However, a significant drawback of reverse socialization methods is their belatedness; insight often comes too late to significantly change something in the child's personality.

conflict the family is characterized by the fact that, for various psychological reasons, the personal relationships of the spouses are built not on the principle of mutual respect and understanding, but on the principle of conflict, alienation.

Conflict families can be both noisy, scandalous, where increased tones, irritability become the norm of relations between spouses, and “quiet”, where relations between spouses characterize alienation, the desire to avoid any interaction. In all cases, a conflict family negatively affects the formation of a child's personality and can cause asocial manifestations.

In conflict families, the desocializing influence does not manifest itself directly through the patterns of immoral behavior or antisocial beliefs of the parents. There is an indirect desocializing effect here, which is exerted due to chronically complicated, unhealthy relationships between parents, which will certainly affect their attitude towards children. Moreover, children can often be elected as "family arbitrators", when each of the spouses, in order to further annoy the other, tries to "pull" the child to his side. Thus, children from witnessing family conflicts become their direct participants, forming a coalition with one of the parents against the other.

Pedagogically incompetent families, How And conflict, do not have a direct desocializing effect on children. In these families, under relatively favorable conditions (healthy family atmosphere, leading a correct lifestyle and caring parents), relationships with children are formed incorrectly, serious pedagogical miscalculations are made, leading to various asocial manifestations in the minds and behavior of children. The formation of unhealthy life attitudes in children in such families occurs because due to pedagogical errors, a difficult moral and psychological atmosphere, the educational role of the family is lost here, and in terms of the degree of its impact, it begins to yield to other institutions of socialization that play an unfavorable role.

So, the family is a complex system of relationships in which each member occupies a certain place, participates in the performance of certain functions, satisfies the needs of others with his activities, and maintains an acceptable level of interpersonal interactions. Violation of family relations leads to failure to fulfill these functions, they are shifted up to distortion. When the structure and functions of the family are violated, psychological tension and conflict in intra-family relations arise, parents are not able to manage the upbringing of children, instill in them the positive social qualities necessary for becoming a full-fledged member of society.

The presented typology of families would be incomplete if it did not include atypical families. Unfortunately, models of atypical marriages are not presented in any classification. In addition, despite the emergence and spread of such families in modern society, scientists almost do not connect their research interests with their study. Therefore, many problems concerning these families are still unknown to the general public. However, such non-traditional marriage unions exist, have their own characteristics, lead their own way of life, which sometimes differs significantly from generally accepted ideas about marriage and family.

What is an atypical family? It is rather difficult to answer this question, because non-traditional marriages are as diverse as traditional ones. At the same time, these family and marriage unions differ from those generally accepted within a particular culture by some unusual forms of structure and relations between representatives of different sexes. Atypical families can also include those that do not differ from traditional ones in their functions and structure, but in modern society have not yet become widespread and recognized among representatives of different social strata. Initially, the essence of the concept of "marriage" was defined as a socially sanctioned form of relations between the sexes, including the relationship to offspring. That is, the marriage union was a kind of means of regulating sexual relations and the reproduction of the population. In this regard, some models of atypical families are not sanctioned by modern society, but in the history of the development of civilization they were not only common, but also an officially accepted, legalized form of family unions. Therefore, such families as, for example, dating family, can be considered as a kind of "modernized" model pair marriage, existed about 25-24 thousand years ago. This marriage was not connected with social laws and was not subject to them; the basis of its creation and duration of existence was only the good will of the partners.

Some non-traditional forms of marriage for Russian culture are at the same time officially permitted in other countries. For example, among some Muslim peoples of the East, a common form is polygyny(polygamy), in which a man is simultaneously in several marriages with different women. For Russia, such a marriage is not typical, although recently it has begun to be introduced, according to Muslim customs.

What are the varieties atypical families meet V conditions of modern Russian reality? Among these are the following:

1. meeting family: the marriage is registered, but the spouses live separately, each of them has their own housing. Even the appearance of children is not a reason to unite and live in a “common home”. Most often, children stay with their mother or are given to be raised by the closest relatives (parents) of the husband or wife. Such a family gathers together either on holidays and weekends, or during the holidays of the spouses. The rest of the time, spouses can meet from time to time, without burdening themselves and each other with family problems and worries, each of them believes that he has the right to “live for his own pleasure”, not caring about how children feel in such a family.

2. intermittent the family is characterized by the fact that the marriage is officially concluded, the spouses live together, but consider it acceptable to part for a while and not run a common household.

3. Unregistered marriage(so-called civil) - an increasingly spreading form of the family, which in our country was legalized by V.I. Lenin and canceled by I.V. Stalin; this also includes trial marriage. Such informal marriage unions are also called extramarital and cohabitation.

Analyzing the reasons for the popularity of extramarital unions, some experts associate them primarily with the crisis of the modern family, the fall of its social prestige. It is assumed that the traditional distribution of household chores, characteristic of official marriage, is violated in an extramarital union. In this form of cohabitation, men do not have the socially sanctioned power to determine the division of household labor, so women "do not cook, wash or darn." The duration of such a marriage does not have a strict framework, because the form of living together in an extramarital union provides each partner with individual freedom, which he can use at any time. Sometimes the need to formalize the relationship arises in connection with the birth of a child, so as not to subject him to legal and social discrimination as an illegitimate child.

As for the future of trial (civil, unofficial) marriages, most researchers come to a unanimous opinion: this form of living together, perceived as integration by both the partners themselves and society, will be further spread. This is facilitated both by the objective conditions associated with the modern social division of labor (later than before, the economic independence of young people), earlier physical, including sexual development, and the ongoing process of breaking the strict generally accepted framework in the field of sexual morality, the dominance of freedom in establishing extramarital sex. Finally, psychological factors play an important role in the growth of extramarital unions. An increasing number of young people (and even their parents) consider it necessary to go through a trial period in cohabitation before a "real" marriage - to get to know each other's character and habits better, to test their feelings, sexual compatibility. Supporters of civil marriages are convinced that a family union concluded after such a check is usually stronger.

4. open the family is distinguished by the fact that, openly or secretly, the spouses allow relationships outside of marriage.

In many ancient societies, there was a custom of sexual hospitality, when the host "lent" his wife to a dear guest, or when the union between men was sealed by the exchange of wives. The consent of the wives, of course, was not asked.

The modern open family, contrary to the moral norms of society, is trying to revive this custom in a slightly different way. Some married couples in search of sexual diversity, by mutual voluntary consent, establish sexual relations with some other, one or more couples. Unlike carefully hidden extramarital love interests, in which the spouses have fun on the side independently and mostly without the knowledge of each other, such relationships, called swinging, suggest "co-marital" sex: the legal, social and emotional bonds of legal marriage are preserved, but the marriage loses its sexual exclusivity. In "closed" swinging, each of the spouses has fun with a representative of the other couple in private, in private. "Open" swinging is group sex; heterosexual games and caresses are sometimes supplemented by homosexual ones.

Some swingers not only make love together, but organize and spend holidays together, have fun, help each other raise children, and solve household problems together.

In such a "marriage" there are a number of moral, psychological and sexual problems. Since swinging involves voluntariness and equality of spouses, it is more honest than usual adultery, there is no deceit and adultery. Nevertheless, it certainly contradicts the norms of Christian morality and monogamous marriage.

With the abandonment of sexual exclusivity, marriage loses much of its intimacy. Purely recreational, hedonistic sex does not satisfy many, and the emergence of a strong emotional attachment between husband and wife from different couples inevitably undermines their original marriage alliances. Despite mutual agreement reached in advance, swinging often generates feelings of shame, guilt and jealousy that can destroy a marriage. It also increases the possibility of a contraceptive error or negligence, which can lead to a dramatic situation about the establishment of biological paternity.

5. Muslim family - polygamy legalized by religion. One man may have four official wives, who usually live under the same roof or in separate houses built for them by the husband. If all wives and their children are in the same household, household and family responsibilities are strictly distributed between them. The husband is the sole master of all household members, obedience to him is obligatory for all members of this family - from young to old. He single-handedly makes decisions and determines the future fate of aging wives and growing children.

6. " Swedish» A family is a family group that includes several representatives of not only females, but also males. Legally, relations in such a family can be formalized only between partners of one couple, but this does not prevent all men and women included in the family union from considering themselves spouses of each other, maintaining a common household, and having a common family budget. Children are also considered common.

7. Homosexual the family consists of marriage partners with the so-called "non-traditional" sexual orientation. If this is a purely male or purely female marriage couple, within such a family there is a division of partners into “husbands” and “wives” and a corresponding distribution of family roles and responsibilities. Quite often, relationships in a homosexual family are established according to the type of traditional nuclear family. At the same time, the norms of intra-family life are determined by the “spouses” themselves in accordance with the male and female roles existing in society.

To date, scientists find it difficult to clearly establish the causes of homosexuality. The formation of an unnatural sexual orientation is associated by some with genetic anomalies, while others are associated with family upbringing errors that lead to deformations of the child's sexual identity. Therefore, there are no radical means by which it would be possible to reorient the direction of the sexual desire of an adult homosexual. Modern society has begun to treat people of "non-traditional" sexual orientation more tolerantly. In some countries (in particular, in Sweden and Germany) legal registration of homosexual marriages is officially allowed. Some families, after a thorough examination of both marriage partners for their legal capacity (state of physical and mental health) and an examination of the financial and economic conditions of family life, are allowed to adopt children. Of course, the issue of the formation of a child's personality in same-sex families remains controversial, since a violation of his sexual identity is possible, which ultimately will lead to the replenishment of the ranks of homosexuals. However, even a homosexual (most often female) family is much better for a child than no family.

8. Limited time marriage: the creation of a family union is considered as a kind of a kind of transaction. If the spouses, after a certain period of time, which they agreed upon earlier, do not declare their desire to extend the “contract”, they are automatically considered complete strangers to each other.

Usually, a "marriage deal" is legalized so that the spouses fulfill their obligations and do not lose their rights when it expires. In all other respects, such a family lives an ordinary life, characteristic of a traditional nuclear family.

In all atypical families discussed above, there is a model of relations between spouses that is not characteristic of traditional marriage. In addition, such relationships are often not accepted and condemned by society in terms of the moral and ethical standards that exist in it. Such marriages are quite rare, so they should be considered as a kind of exception to the generally accepted well-established rule.

Along with such or similar atypical families, there are forms of marriage unions that differ little or almost nothing from the modern nuclear family either in structure or in basic family functions. However, these families have characteristic features, which allows them to be classified as atypical. If the first group of atypical families is distinguished by an unusual and even unacceptable style of marital relations for most people, then the second category, on the contrary, is very close to the traditional family in this regard. Its main originality can be associated either with the presence in the family group of non-native (adopted, adopted, consolidated) children and parents (stepfather, stepmother) who are not consanguineous with children, or with the limitation of the legal capacity of some family members (both adults and children) . Such families are becoming more and more widespread in our society, however, in relation to the traditional understanding of the family and marriage union, they are atypical, since they do not act as the main model for the existence of a modern family.

The group of atypical families of this plan includes mixed families formed by divorced parents and their remarried partners; families who are raising adopted children; families raising other people's children; extended community-type families; families with disabled parents; families with chronically ill and disabled children.

Consider the features of each type of atypical families. An alternative form of family life, which has much in common with the traditional family, which unites members of the family clan, is family so-called community type. In such a family, the upbringing of children is carried out jointly by all adults. Although in some communities the responsibility for raising children is assigned to specific people, yet in most of them children turn to various adults to solve their various problems.

Among the benefits of this kind of upbringing, as a rule, there is an increasing sense of family in children and a readiness to fulfill various roles traditionally inherent in adults. Growing up in such families is easier because children learn from an early age to take responsibility for life in the community. Perhaps, excessive indulgence of children can be considered a flaw in family education, but this favorably affects the establishment of emotional contacts between adults and children, and children in such families experience a feeling of alienation much less often.

Any family, no matter how prosperous it may be, is not immune from the fact that over time, the feelings of the spouses can cool so much that the question of the expediency of further life together turns into a statement: it is impossible to live together. And then trouble comes to replace family happiness, the spouses decide to divorce. Unfortunately, the number of people going through the divorce process is growing rapidly. And at the same time, the share of remarriages is increasing, and this leads to an increase in the number of families in which stepsons and stepdaughters are brought up. In some cases, children from previous marriages of each of the spouses are in the same family. Since the number of mixed marriages is quite significant, it makes sense to touch on the problems of raising non-native children. First of all, it should be noted that children from a first marriage can have a negative impact on consent in a new family. The foster father has problems in communicating with them, with their upbringing, which is much more difficult for him to do than for his own father. He can be perceived by children as an uninvited guest, taking away some of their mother's love from them. They may not perceive his attempts to get closer and even deliberately ignore any signs of attention on his part. A wife in this situation may feel especially hurt when her husband criticizes the behavior of "her" children. In addition, it is necessary to respect the rights of the natural father, which increases the uncertainty of the adoptive one. Sometimes the adoptive father relieves himself of responsibility for the children, loses authority, feels superfluous in the family. He leaves the problems of raising “her children” to his wife, and when she does this, in his opinion, it is wrong, she criticizes her or suppresses her impulses, which leads to tension, the appearance of negative emotions. Tension sometimes eases or is removed with the birth of one's own child, but in some cases it can intensify, problems arise in the relationship between "her" and "their" children.

Such an atmosphere in blended families may be due to certain traits that are usually inherent in stepsons and stepdaughters. First, they love one of the parents more. Secondly, they feel injustice more acutely. Thirdly, they strive to follow the example of their own mother or father, and not their stepmother or stepfather. This is especially common in cases where the child does not accept the stepfather (stepmother), treats him hostilely while maintaining a close emotional connection with his own father (mother).

Naturally, a non-native parent initially cannot completely replace a natural father or mother. He is forced to share his educational duties with him. Children often have unrealistic expectations, which is explained by their spiritual impulses, needs, as well as certain social factors. Strong rivalry between stepchildren often leads to an aggravation of the tense situation in a blended family.

At the same time, remarriage has some advantages over the first for harmonious relations between spouses. First of all, partners no longer count on "eternal", romantic love and approach marriage more rationally. Remembering the bitterness that often ends with the first marriage, the partners feel gratitude for all the good that the second marriage provides them, and they try to save it, protect it more actively. If disharmony in family relations reappears, the partners are more prepared and motivated to cooperate.

A blended family, in the presence of mutual understanding between spouses, can easily cope with the problem of adaptation of non-native children to the changed conditions of their life. It is those non-native parents and children who are able to realize the essence of the new relationships they enter into, who can predict actions and analyze the process of upbringing, which ultimately leads to a creative and successful family life.

Intra-family relations are built somewhat differently in families with adopted children. The attitude to the adoption process in different countries depends on cultural traditions, on a variety of customs. In some ethnic groups, a newborn is presented as a gift. In the Polynesian islands, almost one in three children is adopted. In this case, a complete break with the mother occurs at an early age. In modern developed countries, parents who have abandoned a child are condemned, and the question of their psychiatric usefulness is often raised, and adoption is sometimes considered by the public almost as a feat.

The tasks of raising adopted children are similar to the tasks of raising relatives, especially if the child is adopted in infancy. Experts say that the older the child, the more dangerous for the mental development of his adoption. It is assumed that the child's desire to find his true (biological) parents plays a big role in this. According to a number of experts, approximately 45% of adopted children develop mental disorders due to the child's constant thoughts about his real parents. Therefore, families adopting children should be aware of the specific skills that they need to learn in the first place. Adoptive parents need the skills to establish and maintain links with adoption agencies. In addition, they must be able to interact with legal authorities in the course of adopting a child.

Foster parents need the ability to create a favorable family environment for the child. This means that they should not only help the child adapt to new conditions for him and feel like a full member of the family that adopted him, but also help him understand his family of origin and not interrupt contact with it, since quite often it is very important for children to know that they still have natural parents, who are, as it were, an integral part of their ideas about themselves.

Adoptive parents may need skills to interact with older children if they lived in some kind of child care facility that replaced their family before adoption. They could have individual emotional problems, which adoptive parents can cope with only with the help of special knowledge and parenting skills. The adoptive parents and the adopted child may belong to different racial and ethnic groups. Appropriate parenting skills will help adopted or adopted children cope with feelings of separation and isolation from their former world.

Sometimes adopted children may not know how to communicate with foster parents due to poor relationships in the family of origin. They expect to be severely punished for minor infractions or that adults will not care what they do as long as they are not interfered with. Some children may be hostile towards adoptive parents. It seems to them that everyone conspired to take them away from their family. Children cannot deal with the anger, fear, and hurtful feelings they have for their own parents. Children may be hostile to themselves and do things that harm themselves in the first place. They may try to hide or deny these feelings by withdrawing from their adoptive parents or showing complete indifference to them.

The feeling of confusion that children experience, on the one hand, because of the feeling of love and longing for their family and, on the other hand, hatred of their parents and themselves for imaginary and real actions, is very painful. Being in a state of emotional stress, these children may commit aggressive actions against adoptive parents. All this should be known to those who have decided to take a serious step in adopting a child who has parted with his own family.

In addition, the child may have mental, mental and emotional abnormalities, which will also require specific knowledge and skills from the adoptive parents.

A variety of atypical families in which children are brought up by non-native parents are also family-educational groups. This completely new form of children's living arrangement for Russia consists in the fact that a child from an orphanage is sent to a specially selected family, where he temporarily resides and receives the necessary care and attention. For potential parents, the time spent caring for children is included in the length of service, i.e. caring for and raising disadvantaged children (mainly orphans or those whose parents are deprived of parental rights) is a kind of work for which those who agreed to such a serious step receive a salary and allowance for the maintenance of each child. In the future, the possibility of registration of guardianship is not excluded. Such experience in organizing family-educational groups has not yet become widespread, but as a kind of family model, it has already been used since the beginning of this century in our country.

A special category is families with disabled members. Among them, in turn, are families with disabled parents or chronically ill adult family members. The family environment in such cases becomes stressful, destabilizes the interpersonal relations of the spouses and creates a specific social and psychological background around the child, which cannot but affect the formation of his personality.

A sharp deterioration in the health of a parent or any other family member can happen, as it most often happens, completely unexpectedly, and precisely at the moment when the family is not able to effectively resist the impending disaster. Often, the costs of paying for medical care and staying in medical institutions place an unbearable burden on families and their depleted budget. It may happen that if a sick parent is hospitalized, then there is no one to look after the child. Severe chronic illnesses can deprive a parent of the opportunity to take care of a child for a long time.

A parent's mental illness can cause behavioral responses in the parent that are dangerous to the child. Symptoms of mental illness are indifference towards the child, which increases the risk of an accident. Wild scandals with a spouse or with neighbors negatively affect the physical, mental and emotional state of the child.

A parent who is addicted to alcohol or drugs may also ignore the child's needs and threaten the child's safety. The parent may be suffering from neurosis or psychosis. The disease can be so serious that child abuse becomes sadistic, criminal.

A peculiar psychological climate develops in families with chronically ill and disabled children, which determines the classification of such families as atypical families. The stay of such children in the family creates many difficulties that can be divided into two groups: the first - how the family affects the condition of the sick child; the second is how the condition of a chronically ill child changes the psychological climate in the family.

If a child has mental or physical limitations, then he needs special care, and parents cannot always provide it at home. If there are other children in the family, and it is experiencing difficulties, then the parents simply may not have the mental or physical strength necessary to meet the specific needs of a sick child. In addition, the parents of a sick child may show various forms of emotional response to the message that their child is physically or mentally handicapped, which has a huge impact on the psychological situation in the family.

The most typical initial reaction of parents to a doctor's diagnosis of their child's mental or physical retardation is negation, disbelief in the existence of the disease, a desperate hope that the initial diagnosis is erroneous and a consultation with another specialist in this field will allow him to be removed. After some time, the realization of the true state of the child comes and anger reaction. Usually it arises on the basis of a feeling of helplessness, hopelessness and disappointment both in oneself and in one's child. In some cases, the anger of the parents is justified, especially if the specialists in vain reassured them and were not frank with them in matters relating to the child's condition. On the other hand, this condition becomes unnatural if it lasts too long or is unfairly directed at the child. The family atmosphere is destabilized to such an extent that a once quite prosperous family becomes emotionally hostile towards each other. Such a family either breaks up, or spouses continue to live under the same roof out of a sense of "duty" to sick children or because of their unwillingness to burden themselves with unnecessary troubles and troubles associated with divorce, and not having a strong motivation to destroy their formal status. inappropriate guilt - it is also a common reaction of parents to a doctor's report of a severe incurable illness of their child. Often it develops into all-consuming suffering and worries of parents about misconduct and mistakes, which, as they believe, led to the child's illness. Parents who see the cause of the child's illness in themselves try to control even what is impossible to control in principle. Such a state, accompanied by mental anguish and worries, greatly complicates the already tense family atmosphere.

Parents often experience sense of shame due to the birth of a sick child. They worry about possible judgment from others, and they are convinced that their child will be treated as inferior. Sometimes parents may have such a reactive state as accusation - attempts to shift responsibility for the condition of their child to others in order to hide their true feelings. Parents may blame the teacher and the school for bad teaching, the doctor for wrong prenatal care, the bad heredity of the husband or wife.

The next reaction of parents to a child's illness may be overprotection, which arises due to the fact that they consider it impossible due to the disease to communicate their child with other children. They fear that when playing with healthy children, their child will become the object of ridicule, that he is in danger of injury, because "other boys play too rough", etc. Denying the right of their child to be just a child and to associate with other children, parents only emphasize his mental and physical disabilities more strongly.

The final stage in the peculiar habituation of parents to the grief that has befallen them is emotional adjustment. It is at this stage that parents "with mind and heart" accept the illness of their child; by this time they have already developed positive attitudes both towards themselves and towards their child, which allows them to develop such skills that will help them secure his future in the future.

However, parents do not always manage to come to terms with the idea that their child has a congenital pathology or a serious illness. Moreover, such children are very restless and often “transmit” their anxiety to their parents. Parents become irritable and transfer their irritation to the marital relationship. This especially affects the husband, as a result of which he tries to stay at home less.

A similar hopeless situation develops in a family with disabled or terminally ill children (for example, with children suffering from leukemia). In such cases, the husband tries to be at home less often, avoids communication with the child, while the wife becomes strongly attached to the sick child, often to the detriment of the other children and the spouse. Such a situation can not only negatively affect the peace of mind and balance of the parents, but also the psychological climate of the family as a whole. As researchers of similar family problems note, usually fathers cannot stand being together with a seriously ill son or daughter, they start drinking or leave the family altogether. The child, already deprived of fate, also turns out to be without a father. It is clear that the mother has more problems, she becomes irritable, which injures the child even more.

A sick child needs a special attitude from his parents, since he can develop character traits caused by experiences of his defect, a kind of inferiority complex arises. We must not forget that a child with a certain pathology is in an appropriate social environment that affects him. Therefore, if such a child is treated badly, beaten, scolded, not understood, if the parents are ashamed of a sick child, he may develop various neurotic and characterological disorders that are not directly related to his illness. On the one hand, his physical capabilities are limited, and he sometimes makes excessive demands on others, and on the other hand, those around him may run out of patience to constantly satisfy these requirements, which further increases the risk of conflicts.

From childhood (or even from birth), a child suffering from a serious illness usually spends a lot of time in hospitals. Growing up, he begins to closely observe the attitude of close people towards him, becomes overly distrustful. It seems to him that no one needs him, that continuous failures await him and he is a burden to his parents. He is afraid that his parents have cooled off towards him, carefully analyzes their every gesture, every parental word. Therefore, with such a child, you need to be very careful.

Any child, and even more so a sick one, should feel that he will not be left in trouble, that he will always be helped, and then it will be easier for him to withstand various life hardships. Moreover, chronically ill or disabled children, due to the peculiarities of the social situation in which they are forced to stay, become emotionally sensitive and vulnerable. These children are often worried, offended and crying. They are characterized by poor tolerance of any grief, a tendency to lower mood and sadness. They experience an increased need for security, love and sympathy, which is accompanied by feelings of their own helplessness, worthlessness, uselessness and loneliness in the family. Naturally, this does not affect the general family atmosphere in the best way. Parents, especially if there are other children in the family, cannot always be near a sick child, and he cannot understand and accept this, demanding closer attention to himself. Therefore, a mother, torn between pity for a sick child and the need to simultaneously take care of other family members, may have well-founded emotional stress, the discharge of which is achieved by “taking it out” on her husband or older children. As a result, all family members, and not just a sick child, experience conflict, frustration.

A specific type of modern family, which has recently become quite widespread in Russia, are refugee families. Interethnic and local military conflicts have deprived hundreds of thousands of people of their homeland, who, together with their children, are forced to change not only their place of residence, but also their lifestyle in general. It is quite difficult to describe the psychological features of such a family, because it can simultaneously combine the characteristics inherent in many types of both traditional and atypical family unions, with the only difference being that these characterological features do not depend on the personal attitudes of the spouses, but on complex objective (primarily socio-economic and political) conditions. It is they who influence to a greater extent both the structure and the psychological climate of the family, the physical and mental health of its members. The fate of children is especially tragic in such families, since it is always harder for them than for adults who are already hardened by their life experience and who are able to more actively and purposefully defend themselves from the blows of fate.

Any natural (earthquakes, floods) or social (wars, interethnic conflicts) cataclysms leave a trace in the psyche of people for a long time. The death of loved ones, the inability to start a new life after a disaster, etc. - all this significantly affects, first of all, overly sensitive and impressionable children and adolescents. The character of any person, and even more so of a helpless child, who is more sensitive to adverse living conditions, gradually begins to change under the influence of external circumstances: irritability increases, irascibility appears, excessive vulnerability, or, conversely, isolation, indecision, shyness, timidity; some have pedantry, envy, exaggerated conscientiousness, and so on.

Children react to natural disasters and social upheavals in the same way that close adults react. If mothers and fathers hold on courageously, do not cry and do not fuss, nothing may happen to the child, sometimes he will not even notice that something out of the ordinary has happened. The child copies adults and realizes that if adults are calm, then nothing threatens him. In such cases, no mental shocks will occur to him. Therefore, parents and other adult members of refugee families are in the first place in need of psychological assistance. Finding moral peace by them is important not only in terms of maintaining morale in order to continue to live on, but also in terms of their influence on children, whose inner world is very fragile. And it depends only on adults whether their children will be able to find peace of mind or not.

The above typology of modern families does not claim to be complete and complete. The book considers only some of them, with special attention paid to the varieties of dysfunctional and atypical families, because they give rise to the bulk of social and psychological problems in our society, often have a desocializing effect on the formation of the personality of children brought up in such families.

Of course, real families - objects of study or assistance - have not one, but several features according to the selected criteria, which are not exhaustive. In this regard, the same family can be assigned to several groups at the same time and characterized on different grounds. In addition, it is difficult to establish which of the criteria are grounds for typification, and which only describe the so-called family forms, including alternatives to traditional marriage. And yet, in spite of everything, the family is always important for any person. It is to our family, whatever it may be, that we owe our birth and personal development, we are at a crossroads in front of it, choosing our own answer to the question of marital status, we consider it almost the main measure of our own independence.

However, as noted above, many young people prefer a long romance, "guest marriage" or other similar forms of free relations, not wanting to lose personal freedom and burden themselves with the bonds of legal marriage. For supporters civil marriage unions a test is offered to help them better understand their attitudes in life and their possible consequences.

Instruction. You need to carefully read the proposed questions and answer them by choosing one of the options indicated answers.

Your parents had you...

A) older child

B) an only child

C) the middle child in a large family;

D) junior.

Would you like your relationship with your partner to develop in principle the way your parents did?

A) it is best to live your own way;

B) by no means, only not this;

C) this is hardly possible, because we live in a different time;

D) yes, my parents are a worthy role model.

What qualities do you value most in a partner? (Choose one, the most preferred answer).

A) self-confidence, independence of judgment, self-sufficiency;

B) outstanding sexual virtues;

C) good character, decency, devotion;

D) the ability to understand, empathize, the ability to listen and find a common language.

Do you think that partners should share common interests, tastes and passions?

A) it’s even better the other way around - when completely dissimilar people converge;

B) not required

C) the main thing is common life values, and tastes may differ;

D) Yes, it is very desirable.

What strengths do you think your partner appreciates the most?

A) independence;

B) special virtues and skills that are manifested in the intimate sphere;

C) a bright mind, the ability to solve business and everyday problems;

D) good character.

What do you think should be a fair distribution of household responsibilities?

A) life is a boring routine, the less both partners pay attention to it, the better for their relationship;

B) everyone does what he can and what he wants;

C) it depends on specific people, you just need to come to a mutually acceptable agreement;

D) is ready to take on most of the household chores in order to give the partner the opportunity for creative, professional self-realization.

How do you feel about the prospect of having a common child?

A) not yet the time to think about it;

B) it is excluded, an extra burden is absolutely useless;

C) in principle, why not?

D) Sometimes I think that it would be great.

Have there been divorces in your family (parents, close relatives)?

A) yes, and it taught me to be on my guard;

B) parents did not dare to divorce, but it seems - in vain, they only poisoned the life of themselves and me;

C) yes, like many others - this is a common occurrence;

D) no, my parents lived their lives in a single marriage, and I don’t remember divorces from relatives.

How will a sharp deterioration in the health or financial situation of a partner affect your relationship?

A) I'm afraid that this can ruin the relationship and force you to part with him;

B) I am not going to babysit a disabled person or a loser;

C) the problems of close people are common and we will try to solve them together;

D) I consider it my duty to carry this cross, no matter how hard it is.

10. How do you feel about the romantic formula "They lived happily ever after and died on the same day"?

a) I am afraid that I am not capable of this;

b) I do not believe that this happens;

c) a wonderful ending for a fairy tale, but life bears little resemblance to a fairy tale;

d) I secretly dream that one day they would say the same about us.

Count up , what type of responses - a B C or G- you see most often. The predominance of one or another type of answers characterizes your partner attitudes.

A is an independent type. You are one of those people who are usually called self-sufficient. Above all, you value independence, independence, the right to manage your own life. And I must admit, you have enough reason for this. You are purposeful, energetic, able to achieve your goals, relying mainly on your own strength. In this regard, your self-esteem is a little overestimated, and claims are not always realistic. But it's not that bad. It is much worse when a person underestimates himself and sets small goals for himself. It doesn't threaten you.

Your strengths should also include the ability to take responsibility. And you, on the contrary, do not like to obey the waters. Do not stand it when they try to manipulate you, put pressure on you. Because of such heightened sensitivity, sometimes you see attacks on your independence even where this is not even a question.

All these qualities, valuable in their own way, can complicate relationships with others, including with the opposite sex. Establishing close, trusting, truly intimate relationships is not easy for you. The one you call a close person will be close only to a certain extent. The myth of searching for your "soul mate" makes you ironic, because without any other half you feel like a whole person. Therefore, a civil marriage with a significant degree of mutual freedom and a minimum of mutual obligations seems to you the best partnership option. Perhaps that is how it is today. But one day you may feel that you lack the intimacy, affection, even addiction that you are so avoiding today. And having accustomed your partner to the distance, it will be very difficult to reduce it. Think about it. It's easy to live for today if today suits you. But do not forget the saying: "He who does not think about the future has no future."

B - Consumer type. You are a practical person who knows how to take everything from life. And the surrounding people serve as a means for this. This does not mean that you treat them badly, cruelly, unkindly. On the contrary, you know how to get along with people if they can be of some use to you. Many consider you a sweet and likeable person, and perhaps you really are.

The bad thing is that in a relationship with a loved one, you voluntarily or involuntarily adhere to the same strategy. You can be nice, kind, even ready to make some sacrifices, but admit it - not selfishly, counting, it will pay off handsomely. As long as it pays off, you are satisfied with your partner and life together. But if a selfless sacrifice is required of you, it begins to weigh you down. You are not ready to meet halfway, not anticipating a generous return. Therefore, the partnership for you is a kind of joint venture in which you expect to receive large dividends on your contribution. In fact, this is not even a marriage, but an alliance for mutual use. In such an alliance, when a partner loses "consumer qualities" or stops "paying dues", he is subject to replacement. Think about it: after all, you can experience such an attitude sooner or later for yourself.

B - Compromise type. You are a flexible, accommodating person who knows how to find a common language with almost everyone. It is likely that your relationship with your partner will develop or are already developing in a friendly and calm manner. You know how to firmly, but delicately insist on your own in matters of principle, but are not inclined to argue over trifles. You can, however, assume that your relationship is not colored by strong feelings. If you happen to part, it will happen without anguish, "intelligently", and it will not be difficult for you to find a partner who is full-fledged, in your opinion, a replacement soon. Is it because you have not yet managed to find the only, irreplaceable one? Admit it to yourself: you would really like this. But here everything depends not on a happy accident, but only on you. Maybe this person is already next to you, but you are not yet aware of this, carried away by considerations of common sense and reasonable expediency. Listen to your feelings. If a partner is simply better than an empty place for you, then in fact it is no better, this is an empty place. And if you understand that this place can only be occupied by him, you will soon recognize that the formalization of relations will serve you not as fetters, but as a support.

G - Dependent type. By nature, you are a conservative person, committed to centuries-old values. A civil marriage for you is a surrogate for a “real” marriage, it is either a test of yourself or a rehearsal. Deep down, you are set for a long-term strong relationship, but something is holding you back from legalizing it. In fact, you're just following the old "feelings check" formula in the spirit of the times. And how long do you think it takes? By stretching this test, you risk not so much sorting out your feelings as completely confused. Moreover, you may have got a type B partner who is satisfied with your complaisance and indecision. In this case, you run the risk of eventually becoming an object of his use, without having legal grounds to object to this. If you seriously think that at this stage of your life a civil marriage is preferable, try to decide: what is at least the duration of this stage. Otherwise, over time, the farther, the stronger you will begin to feel dissatisfaction, dissatisfaction with yourself and your partner.

If your answers are scattered randomly and no one type predominates among them, then you probably just don’t realize what you want from life and just go with the flow. It is impossible to say whether the current will take you to beautiful distances or to a musty swamp - anything can happen in life. Therefore, re-read the test questions once again. This, if it does not help you finally understand yourself, then at least it will make you think seriously, but for you it is useful.

Antonov A.I. Family: functions, structures. - M., 1993.

Vasilyeva A.K. Family structure. - M., 1988.

Interaction of specialists in work with a dysfunctional family: Method. recommend. / T.I. Shulga, L.Ya. Oliferenko. - M., 1999.

Whitaker K. Midnight Reflections of a Family Therapist. M., 1998.

Raising children in an incomplete family / Ed. N.M. Ershova. Per. from Czech. - M., 1980.

Druzhinin V.N. Family psychology. - M., 1996.

Navaitis G.A. Family in psychological counseling. - Moscow-Voronezh, 1999.

Nartova-Bochaver K.S., Nesmeyanova M.I., Malyarova N.V., Mukhortova E.A. Whose am I - mom or dad? - M., 1995.

Plotnieks IE Psychology in the family. - M., 1991.

Help parents in raising children. Per. from English. / Common ed. and foreword. V.Ya. Pilipovsky. - M., 1992.

Family through the eyes of a psychologist. - M., 1999.

Stepanov S.S. The naked truth about women. - St. Petersburg, 2002.

Tseluiko V.M. Incomplete family. - Volgograd, 2000.

Tseluiko V.M. Modern family: Information and methodological materials. - Volgograd, 1999.

Chernikov A.V. Introduction to family psychotherapy. - M., 1998.

Typology of the modern family and possible psychological problems. Family typologies

2.2 Typology of families

Latest

It needs to be known